Last night

Last night I picked Bella up from Ycare. She was complaining of a headache. I got her a happy meal on the way home and when we got home I gave her some tylenol and she fell asleep on the couch. About an hour late she woke up and I had her do her homework which per usual took way longer than a one page social study assignment should take. They are finishing up the unit on the US South East with a section on civil rights, MLK and Rosa Parks. While she was doing homework I was working on completing the skirts I had designed to make for the Houston Meyer girls. I should finish tonight. I think they did turn out great! Bella lost a tooth last night after she was in bed and during her bath last night she was singing "santa Baby" The kid cracks me up.

Still getting to the Y in the mornings for an hour or so-still obese.

October

Yes October. The summer has ended and what a great summer it has been. Lots of fun things going on, places to see, people to meet etc.

I really love fall and last weekend has got to be some of the best fall days ever. Saturday we were at the RHS fall fest all day, I was exhausted Saturday night. Sunday my sister and her family were in town for the Regatta and then we watched the packer game.

I really want to get a trip to the pumpkin patch and to the apple orchard in yet this month.

This Saturday I plan on going to all day scrap-really looking forward to it.

Work is going great! Can't believe what a different atmospher it is now that AE has quit and gone to Law School. I have applied for her old job-we will see.

As always I have tons of things on my to do list-far more than I would ever have time to do even if I did not sit on my ass and watch TV at nigh.

Again hoping to start posting more.

Obese girl Out

A month-Really?

Well it has been almost a month since I posted here. Probably like a lot of bloggers that don't post when they are not doing very well.

This morning I weighed 198.8 pounds and I got up and did a kick boxing video.

Lots of stuff has been happening. Bella's first communion, Mother's day, memorial day, Bridal shower etc. Eating has not been way off the charts but not stellar either.

I have not been feeling well either. I had a period twice in the month of May which meant 2 full days that I was in so much pain that I really could do nothing but soak in a hot tub and pray for relief. I am guessing I should see my physician about this.

Things are not rosey in my marriage either. We had a counseling appointment last week but I think that my husband really thinks that I am the problem and maybe I am.

I feel tired a lot and bored and really unfocused. I think this is another bout of depression and I wonder when or if I will ever get in control.

Work is very stressful. I have very little to keep me busy and what I do have is not very challenging just time consuming. There are people in my department who are acting like high schoolers or maybe it is even younger than that. I find them to be rude, lazy, snobby and just unpleasant to be around.

I feel very much alone. I feel as if I have no friends. I feel as if I am a terrible wife and mother and the world might just be better if I just never got out of bed.

obese girl out

Weekend

The weekend was incredibly busy. On Friday night we went to Panera for dinner. I had the thai chopped salad, it was good but spicy, we got paint for the porch floor and 2 new pairs of jeans for the skinny kid. I worked on the porch trying to get it clean. Mostly I moved stuff to the basement. I now need to work down there. My goal is to do a little each night. Saturday I was up early and got cleaning again. I polished all the wood floors on my hands and knees, vaccumed, did laundry cleaned the bathrooms etc. busy, busy, busy. around one we went to culvers for a salad and then to the grocery store for a few things. Back home I made cupcakes, potato salad and pasta salad. The porch is almost clean. I wish Scott would have helped me more with stuff. Sunday again up early and it was sunny. Finished moving stuff from the sun porch to the garage, frosted cup cakes, dipped strawberries set up the table. We had 20 people for lunch (mom and carl forgot to bring the table and chairs and had to return home to get them) Aunt Norma got lost a couple of times and Sonya and family (bringing the punch bowl) were late. Lunch was good I think everyone had enough to eat. Bella changed and opened her gifts. Then it was a mad dash to get dressed and to church only to have to wait until the baptisms were done to get in. Bella did great, we are so proud of her. My eating was not great as I had a sandwich, potato salad, pasta salad and a cupcake all with loads of carbs. Doing a little better today. My weight was 195 pounds. I really want to get below 190 in the month of May. Today I have been really hungry for chicken strips not sure where a craving like that comes from. We are busy tonight with dance class.

Obese girl out

Beautiful!

Today dawned absolutely beautiful after days and days of cloudy weather and rain and cool temps. The sun is shining and today I was up before dawn. I got up at 4:00 am so I could watch the royal wedding! It was so beautiful. I made orange/cranberry scones last night and had them this am with English tea-I know not low carb but a great way to celebrate.

I am doing well, just wish I was more ambitious. We have company coming on Sunday and the sun porch is still a mess and the front porch floor still needs painting.

I got a fed ex package today from HF, it contained a present for Isabella's first communion. I am not sure why she sent it since I am sure she has only heard how horrible I am from A. Whatever.

Looking forward to the weekend. Sunday is May 1 and the date I have targeted to get active again. I bought a new pedomiter today. I will start logging my steps.

Obese girl out

oh it is dreary out

woke up yesterday morning to snow! and today it has been cold, rainy and windy-should be a day to stay home, read by the fire and bake something. This is not what I am doing.

The weekend was good. Scott and Bella were busy on Friday night so I got in a trip to Michaels. I was a little disappointed in that they did not have a christmas paper stack. I did get some different adhesive instead of the little squares I normally use and a too for my Cricuit. I used a coupon and the gift card Scott gave me for Christmas.

On Saturday I went to all day scrap and worked only on Christmas stuff. I have like 3 years of Christmas done and 5 more to go. I will probably do Christmas at the May scrap as well. Scott took Bella to her first Communion rehersal and photos. The little stinker braided her hair after she went to bed and I like the poses and quality of the photos but not how her hair looks. Scott and Bella went to a movie "RIO" in the afternoon. Sunday we went to church and then out to lunch at Taco Bell. I really prefer to eat at home during this diet phase. I had a taco salad-so did Scott. I ate the shell, he didn't-he told me I need more will power. I have such a mind set about throwing food out.

We went to Woodmans and then home to work on the sun porch. We did sort through a lot of stuff and threw things out, recycled, shredded and sent stuff to Goodwill. I hope by this weekend it is spic and span out there.

I watched my show and then spoke to my friend Chris about a job.

My sister called recently to congratulate me on getting below 200 pounds.

Work is work, A is still not speaking to me although I have spoken to her, she responds to questions but is still aloof. Had a meeting today about a project I need to devote some time to and I have a meeting thursday on some property questions.

Hoping to get a quick run through on the house work tonight and some laundry completed.

I went off the diet last night when I had a bowl of cereal and a piece of chocolate and I have had chocolate today too. I am not sure what is going on. I weighed 197 pounds this am. If I would just stick to the diet and add some exercise I am sure I would drop more weight.

Obese girl out

another day

Yesterday I wrote a post and then something happened and it erased the whole thing. I was back at work yesterday after having Tuesday off because Bella was sick. Most of Monday night she cried and tossed and turned and complained that her ear hurt. I gave her tylenol and a hot water bottle but nothing seemed to help. About 4 am she finally went to sleep, evidentially this is about the time her ear drum burst and the pressure was gone and consequently the pain. I took her to immediate care at 9:00 am-1st ones there when they opened. Her ear is now draining. The Dr. gave her a perscription for an antibiotic and some drops. She is feeling better. She slept, did homework and watched TV most of the day while I did paperwork and housework and a load of laundry. It was nice to have a little extra time off. Lady went to the groomer and now looks like a schnawzer again and not a fur ball. We went out to lunch at Tom and Jerrys. Scott wanted a gyro which we both love. It came with a greek salad and fried. I ate the salad and gyro including the pita (I should have skipped the pita) and a few fries. This is why I don't want to really go out to eat since I am more tempted than I am at home. I also do not like going to the store, againe because I am tempted to buy a treat: chips, cookies, candy etc. Monday we went to McDonalds because it was Windsor school night Bella had a happy meal and I had a salad. We took a salad home to Scott who was messing with tech support for the computer/net flicks. In really good news Bella made the A/B honor roll!!! We are very proud of her. I am feeling better overall about my health/weight, house and parenting but work is funky because A-seems to be so mad at me and is not talking to me-she is real mature! Obese girl out

After the weekend

Well, Scott ended up being off all weekend due to his sore back. He went to the Chiropracter everyday including Sunday. I hope it is feeling better. Friday Fred came and finished up on the porch. Now I need to find time to paint the porch floor. We had steak and salad for dinner. Bella and I went to school for the book fair. Saturday, while Scott was at the Chiropracter I went to the new Big Lots hoping to snag a shark floor steamer but they did not have any. I also stopped in the Burlington Coat factory and bouth Bella a couple of summer dresses. They did have dresses that would work for first communio for around $30 in case I need one. I washed Bella's 1st communion dress but I am not sure I got all the stains out. I dropped it off at the cleaners today to have it pressed. We will see how it looks when I pick it up. I had a salad and hot dogs for lunch. Bella and I went to see the Ballet Copallia with grandma. The Ballet was good but the trip there and back was scary! I never want to ride with my MIL again. I was wishing it was a driver ed car so I had a brake on my side. It was speed up and slam on the breaks, going to fast to take the exit, almost running red lights and stopping at green, almost going the wrong way on a one way street. It was awful! After the ballet we had dinner at our house. Chicken and salad. Scott rented a movie-127 hours. It was ok but I pretty much new the story and I could not watch him actually cut off his arm-Gross! Sunday dawned beautiful! It was absolutely gorgeous. I took Bella to religion class, then I went to Wal-mart to do shopping for Easter, First Communion and Madeline's birthday. Bella and I went to church. I had a cheese burger (no bun) and salad for lunch. I cleaned house and in the process broke the dust buster and the broom. and the mop replacement did not work on our mop. I worked outside, ran the dishwasher, went to woodmans, ran a load of laundry made pudding and jello, had a salad for supper. Finaly watched my favorite TV show "Army Wives" and took the dogs out about 9. They were too scared of all the lightning to even go potty. We did get some rain later. I went to bed and slept well. Our scale is broken, our non-digital has me at 198 pounds this am. I am not sure I believe it. Joint commission is at our hospital today and so far it is pretty quiet. Obese girl out.

Day 5

woke up this morning and felt pretty good, lingering cramps-no headache. cheese, boiled egg and turkey bacon for breakfast and I was fine with just decaf tea and H2O until lunch which was a green salad with grilled chicken. Bella's fever was gone this AM so she went off to school. There was a minor scuffle over the way I put up her hair. Spoke to Scott a little bit ago and he had called in sick to work for tonight due to back issues. He went to the chiropractor this AM so hopefully he is feeling better. Steak and salad for dinner tonight. Last night went pretty well also, Bella refused to eat the meat balls because they had onion in them but I thought they were pretty good. She was told no snack and didn't ask for one. She took a bubble bath, I read to her and she went to bed and to sleep with no problems. Our dog Lady was throwing up last night-GROSS! hopefully she is better today. The weekend looms ahead. We have no real plan except to get the first communion banner done and hopefully some major cleaning and invitations. I have contracts to review so back to work obese girl out

Day Four

Last night Scott had made pork tenderloin and green beans for dinner. I finished up some paperwork for taxes and the anual report. Bella did her missing math. When I got home Scott was messing around on the computer and the kid was outside playing. I have asked him repeatedly not to be on the computer when he could be spending time with Bella. This morning I woke Bella up as usual at 7:00 the next thing I know she is sitting on her bedroom floor crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said her throat hurt. She did not feel overly warm, but Scott is saying "take her temperature" I don't know where the thermometer is and I really would have liked him to get out of bed and do it but he didn't so I stomped down stairs to get it. It was 99.5 so she couldn't go to school. Then I wanted to look down her throat and need a flashlight. A while back I asked Scott to get me a flashlight when he was out to the home improvement store-he forgot. So when Bella and I were out we bought 2 flashlights. Scott did not think we needed two. I wanted one for on the front porch for when I take the dogs out at night. Could I find a flashlight? no, It (they) are probably in the workout room. He takes my flashlight after he said we didn't need one in the first place and then I can't find one when I need one. Very disappointing. Scott then asked if I knew where the schools number was, like he could not find it himself. Bella is home and Scott is off today so basically he is probably ignoring her and she (they both) are probably just watching TV. I feel better this morning overall. Still a slight headache and cramps. I had boiled eggs and turkey bacon for breakfast and a salad with chicken for lunch, not sure what we will have for dinner. Work continues to be quiet. A does not really talk to me so I suspect she is mad at me for talking to MC and causing the showdown meeting last week. Well I am not going to feel bad about that since it probably is what was needed. Ate lunch with Trish and Jackie. Obese girl out

Day Three

Well I am almost through the morning of day 3. I had 2 boiled eggs, 2 pieces of turkey bacon, a slice of cheese and 16 oz of water for breakfast. I have a slight headache and I am a little hungry but not starving. I have a taco salad for lunch (taco meat, lettuce, spinach, tomato, celery and cheese. I also have a coupld of slice of swiss cheese and a hamburger if I need a snack. I have had a couple cups of decaf tea and another 16 oz of water. work is going ok, we had a staff meeting this morning and I got a phone call that moved and old project to the top of the priority list. The kid was good last night, she ate supper, we went to the library and then she took her bath, ate her easy mac and went to bed. This morning I thought things were going ok until I asked her to do something different with her hair. Then she was mad, said I was mean and it didn't feel like she loved me. This being sassy has to stop. Scott is off today and hopefully we are getting a new front door. I checked out a couple of books from the library on achieving goals, hopefully I will learn something. Obese girl out

Getting through the night

Last night I was very hungry. I had some steamed broccoli and cauliflower with a slice of pepper jack cheese melted over it and some kilbasa then I started not feeling well and I had a huge headache. I took an Aleve and laid down. Bella kept herself occupied and did not throw a fit because I did not take her to dance class and she. finished her homework. I ran her a bath. We read a chapter from Little House on the prarie. Then things went South. I sent Bella to bed. She did not want to go bed she wanted her glass of milk I told her no. Then she was mad and it went from there to enraged. She stomped around, screamed and cried and demanded medicine as she had a headache. I don't believe she had a headache, I think she just wanted attention. Eventually she did calm down and go to sleep. This morning she was ok but wore the same old dirty sweatshirt to school despite me telling her not to. I cleaned lettuce and cooked chicken last night for a salad today. I had a slight headache this morning and my period started. We will see how today goes. Obese girl out.

A New Day

I know it has been a long time since I have posted here, primarily because I started this blog to chronicle my weightloss and there has not been any. I have basically eaten my way through a lot of daily stress, from work and homelife BUT, I just got back from vacation and really hated seeing an old college friend while I am this fat. Thankfully I was able to huff and puff my way around the Grand Canyon on vacation. This morning I started the induction phase of the Atkins diet. I am hungry! and I have a headache. I just keep telling myself that induction is only 2 weeks and it will be worth it. I had a hard time with the scale this morning as it gave me a different weight result pretty much every time I stepped on. I am going to go with a starting weight of 208.5 pounds. If I can lose 25 pounds I will be down to 183 pounds and I believe that is a good start and probably the lowest I have been in 15 years. Obese girl out