A MELT DOWN, A MIL IN NEED OF HELP AND HALLOWEEN

This morning my princess had a huge melt down because you were suppose to wear purple and gold to school (school colors) and the only thing she had that was gold was a skirt I packed away last weekend in the summer clothes. I informed her that I did not think that she had anything gold or purple but dumped the summer clothes bag out on her bed and went downstairs. The morning schedule at our house is tight and I still had to do her hair, my hair, my makeup and get her breakfast. She comes downstairs in her underpants with a tan skort. I told her she could wear it if she wanted but it was not gold. She really does not have any gold or purple. She ended up wearing a lavender plaid skirt and a lavender shirt. Today at lunch I find out from my friend T that you can buy a Widson Elementry shirt or sweatshirt in the office. Why did I not know this? I will try to get her one next week.

My MIL was in Texas visiting her son and family when my mom died a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say I did not immediately call and tell her my mom died and she is now mad at me about it. I did not tell her because I sometimes feel that she infringes upon my family and I certainly did not want her to take my grief and somehow make it hers. She keeps going back to how we use to be friends but now we are not and no matter how many times I explain what I think and how I feel on the subject she has to somehow make it about her. When I first got married we did do quite a few things together because I did not know anyone in Rockford and she was kind of on her own too. Now I have made friends, I have a child and we are busy so i do not have as much time to spend with her and she has gotten married and we don't feel as obligated to include Scott's mom in everything we do. She made a decison on how to handle her mom's death and I made a decision on how to handle mine. I did not like her decision she does not like mine so be it.

Well today is Halloween. Scott is off work. Trick or Treat is from 5:00 to 8:00 and we plan on all dressing up. Scott as Zorro, Bella as an angel and me as candy corn. And then after making a quick trip up one side of our street and down the other and then we will be home as that is enough candy for her and I don't need any. Then we will hand out candy. I have 70 suckers so I hope that is enough. Then we will have pizza. My mother inlaw has not seen us if 4 weeks so she wants to come over but it is becoming a production. It is questions like "do you really want me to come?", "can Carl come?" "Joan is mad at me still" etc. It is driving us crazy. We will see how it all works out.

We are heading to WI tomorrow for my mom's inurnment.

SEX

Last week Bella's folder from school had a note in it that the teacher had asked me to speak to her about Bella's test. I stopped in the classroom the other night to ask Mrs. Berg about this. She pulled out Bella's reading paper and on the top of the second page where you are suppose to write your name Bella had written SEX. The teacher asked her if she knew what that meant and she said no and the teacher told her that was not a word she should write on her school paper. I asked Bella why she wrote that and she said she did not know. I explained to her that we should only write what the teacher asks us to write on our reading papers. I asked her where she saw this word and she said on TV.

Now to my knowledge this is not a word we have used in front of Bella, nor have we spelled it, heck there isn't even any of that going on at our house at this time. Do I believe she could have seent he word on TV? Yes, afterall this year had quite a bit of advertising for a movie called "SEX IN THE CITY".

Well last night I took Bella to the Immediate care to make sure she did not have strep throat or an ear infection (which she doesn't) and she was watching the receptionist register us on her computer and lo and behold there was that three letter word SEX right there on her computer screen. I then had to explaine that this was used as a question related to patients where they simply want to know if you are a girl or a boy and that this was acceptable. boy this parenting is sometimes very hard!

I do worry about vocabulary sometimes since Bella is on the playground with kids up to 5th grade and in Y-care with kids up to 5th grade and she has older girls (maybe age 11) in her tumbleing class and older cousins. The chance of her picking up some vocabulary that may be inappropriate for a 6 year old is probably pretty high.

Joan

UPDATE

I felt I needed to put an update on here. Since my last post my mom has passed away. We are past the visitation and funeral and my dad called last night to tell me that the burial is scheduled for November 1st at 9:30 am. I would like to say I don't know what I am feeling but that would not be true as I know all of what I am feeling and it is sad and hurtful and disappointed and alone and mad and a million other emotions all at the same time. I will sort them out and I am working on a tribute post for here about my mom.

I do have to say that my co-workers in the Legal suite I work at have been wonderfully supportive as well as generous and kind. I am thankful to work where I do. some of my friends and even my husband have lacked the compassion I felt should have been extended to me at this time. I am answering lots of questions for my daughter and avoiding dealing with my MIL as I feel she wants to steal my grief and make it her own. This is difficult for me as I know how my MIL reacted when her mother died. My friend Pat really stepped up for me as I stayed at her house a couple of nights and then she came to both my mom's visitation and to the funeral.

Unexpected support also arrived from my bible study group who I have only known for 6 weeks.

I attended my WW meeting on Monday and was down 1.8 pounds which is great considering this was not a great diet time and we went to Famous Dave's for supper on the way home from the funeral.

I am back at work and I have a big project to keep me busy.

Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch to get our pumpkins we were suppose to go with friends but they canceled on us and I have to admit my feelings were hurt. We will probably carve then this coming Monday as that is the last day Scott is off until Halloween.

Bella's first few days back at school were difficult but I am not sure if it was because she is still processing her grandmothers death or if it is because she had been in school only 2 days the previous week. I think she has settled back down.

check back for more soon.

MISSED

I missed my WW meeting yesterday because I was not at work. I was actually in Dodgeville visiting my mom. Last Friday we were told that there would be no more dialysis for my mom because it is not working and her blood pressure drops too much. We are visiting her as much as we can and the nursing home is keeping her comfortable.

I still exercised on Saturday before I went to WI and then this morning and even yesterday I went to the Lands' End Activity center and did a tae chi class for a half hour and then we walked on the track. I was down to 212.5 on our scale this morning.

We will see what the rest of the week brings.

Joan

.2 POUNDS

Well yesterday was really a hectic day for me. Since Bella spent Sunday night at grandmas and she had not school yesterday I at least did not have to deal with her in the morning. I did get up and do Tae Bo. I had a couple of meetings scheduled in the morning. My boss Chris had a plumbing problem at home and didn't come in so I had to host the meetings in my inadequate office with Chris on the speaker phone. Once the meetings were finished I ran to weight watchers and weighed in with a .2 pound loss. I did follow my points and i did exercise every day so I am not sure what happened. We did have pop corn at the movie on Saturday but I would not think that would keep me from losing at all. After the WW meeting I went over to school to meet with Bella's teacher for parent teacher confrence. I talk to her teacher a couple times a week so nothing was really surprising. Then back to work until 4:30 then across town to meet Bella, grandma and Carl for supper at Culvers. I had a grilled chicken Ceasar salad, but did not feel full. After supper we took Bella to swim lessons and I tried to finish my bible study homework-I am stil not done. Then we went to Woodman's to do our groceri shopping. This weekly trip is really starting to cost us a lot more. Then home. I was exhausted but still needed to put away grocheries and get Bella in bed. My house is in need of a good once over but I don't have time. Tonight I have bible study so it probably wont get done tonight either. I got up and exercised again this morning. I did a step aerobic tape that I have not done in a very long time and it was hard.

As part of our WW at work we got free e-tools so I logged in on that today. They gave me 10 activity points for that hour workout when I have only been giving myself 3 extra points. We will see how this week goes.

Last weekend we did go to the fall festival sponsored by the Health System. We had lunch there, went on a hay ride, checked out the helicopter and met Ronald McDonald-so much excitement.

This weekend is the Head of the Rock Regatta so I expect we will do that on Sunday. Saturday is up in the air at this point.

SURGERY

No not for me. Last night when walking home from the library we passed by the home of the women, Karshon, who watched Bella 3 days a week after school last year. We have really only see her to wave for months now. She informed us that today she was scheduled for surgery at 8:00 am in Chicago to have a brain tumor removed. She had really long hair which has been cut and Bella wanted to know what had happened. Karshon has a 6 year old little girl who will be staying with her parents. If your the praying type please lift her up in prayer today. Scott's dad died of brain cancer so the story is all too familiar to him. This is a very sad situation.

Speaking of the library, I left my purse there and did not realize it until we were all the way home. We went back to get it and the librarian that found it said to me (and in not such a nice voice) your cell phone number is wrong, but we left a message at your work. I told her I did not have a cell phone. I checked and they had one number in our home phone number incorrect which might just mean that one of their staff members typed it in wrong and has nothing to do with me. Then this morning I could find my purse but not my keys. After looking all over, including both Scott and I looking in my purse we could not find them. I then took the spare set and went to work late. At work I completely emptied my purse and found the keys! It was very frustrating! & I am not a very pleasant person when I am frustrated like this.

Last night Fred (our handyman) came by and put a sealant on the roof of the sun porch. He also checked out the bathroom where we think we have a leak. I am afraid it is going to cost us on this one. Fred said that the shower could be reinstalled and it we have to pull up the tile than we should pull it all up and that we might want to consider vinyl tile, but I don't really want to do that. We will know more next week when he comes back. Later I was talking to Fred and found out that he had gone to school in Mt. Morris and had Scott's dad as a teacher.

Bella had a good day at school yesterday-Maybe October will be a good month for her. I sure hope so.

Random bits of Information

Hi

Last night my dad called then he called again this morning. My dad rarely calls me. I guess my mom was picked as resident of the month at her nursing home and we all need to plan for a pot luck celebration. I am happy for the recognition for my mom. I guess we will have lunch on the 18th of October. I had tentatively planned a trip to Horicon Marsh for that day and a Pumpkin Patch outing on the 19th. I am trying to reschedule the trip to Horicon. I was thinking I would go next weekend but that is the weekend of the Regatta in Rockford and my sister and her family will be in town as both my niece and my nephew are on their schools rowing teams. The other thing my dad told me was that my niece Heather had her baby on the 28th. I was reminded of how thrilled I was on the day Heather was born. She was my first niece. She is a beautiful girl. I wish she would have gotten married before having a baby. She is planning to marry the baby's father in May of 2009. She will be all of 21 I think. So young and so much life ahead. I also wish she would have stayed in college but alas those are her decisions not mine. The baby girl's name is Katlyn.

I spent a lot of time yesterday beating myself up. The morning started off with Bella complaining about me picking out her outfit for school-"remember I get to pick out my clothes" (funny how today she wore what I picked out for yesterday). So I went down stairs to finish getting myself ready and she has a crying fit because I wont help her. I end up late and as I am leaving she says "another kiss and hug good bye" and I very angrily said "I am late and I already gave you a kiss and hug good bye" Can you say bad mom! I felt bad all day. What if something had happened to me and that is her last memory of me? What if something happened to her and that would be my last interaction with her? It was awful. She had problems staying in her seat at school. Was her poor behavior at school at all related to our exchange in the morning?

I had bible study last night. Scott was home with Bella and extremely happy about the White sox win. He taped the Biggest Loser but did not get the end so I had to log on this morning and find out who went home from the yellow team. Am I the only one out there who is disgusted by the contestents lack of exercise? "We did not know what to do" What a bunch of crap! After a few weeks on the ranch they should have know that they have to move! Do something people! run, walk, do sit ups, push ups, squats, find something to step up and down on, race each other do something! The whole thing was pathetic!

I had cake today for someones birthday-How many points did I blow on that?