I weighed in at Weight Watchers yesterday and I lost 3.6 pounds. This is certainly in the right direction. Counting points was not all that hard and I have been exercising every morning. Yesterday I thought I was feeling better overall and even more grounded, but that was a fleeting experienc I guess because 1.) I was unable to complete my bible study homework last night 2.) I yelled at my daughter this morning when she wanted another good bye hug 3.) I think we have a major problem in our downstairs bathroom that I am afraid is going to cost us lots of $$$ 4.) I could not find my name tag this morning 5.) my work computer starts up so slowly that I actually registered as being late this morning but I was not. 6.) I needed to sew the button back on my pants only to discover that the button was actually broken and I will have to get a new one and 7.) I got a red-lined document back with a lot more changes to make.
Scott has changed his schedule again and that means that we need to find daycare for Bella for half the day Friday and half the day Monday and I have to go to Bella's parent teacher confrence on Monday on my lunch.
We did have a good weekend however. Saturday was a beautiful day and Bella and I went to the apple orchards near our home and had a great time. Bella rode the ponies and we had a snack and a hay ride and bought some apples. On Sunday we did our grocery shopping.
Bella had a good day at school yesterday lets hope she has another one today.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
COUNTING POINTS & EXERCISE
Last Monday I attended my first weight watchers meeting. I have started counting points. It is somewhat cumbersome. I am doing ok as long as I can find my little calculator (I have temporarily lost it a couple times already). I have also consistently been exercising each morning. This is hard as I have to get up early and deal with the pets but I am doing it. So far I am alternating step aerobics and tae bo. Next week I think I will do the same thing but different tapes, we will see. Knowing I was starting weight watchers on Monday had me thinking about my "Last Supper" over the weekend. Scott and I went to the movie on Friday night and had popcorn. We saw "Ironman" and it was better than I had anticipated. After the movie we went to Dairy Queen and had Ice Cream. Saturday I went to an all day Scrap event and went out to lunch with my friend J to McDonalds so I had chicken and fries. On Sunday I had lunch at Culvers and we had pizza for supper. I believe I weighed in on Monday at 218 pounds! YIKES! By the way I did 14 scrapbook pages of our trip to Washington/canada, I ran out of white paper and adhesive. I kind of wish I could scrapbook all day this Saturday.
On Tuesday I had bible study but Scott taped the Biggest Loser and I watched it when I got home. I was curious about the recipes they made and you can get them on the web site but they do not include the nutritional information. I told Scott that we needed to look at the book "the 21 day Jump Start diet" because we liked some of the recipes in that book. I guess it is ok that the gray team is gone, the NY accent was getting to me. I did not think it was fair that for the gray team and yellow team, who both had a member that could not compete the other member had to keep going could they not have had the gray and yellow go together as a team on the slip'n slide? or made them only go every other time?
I am looking forward to the ER premier tonight and I will be watching Survivor this year, simply because the game in being played out in GABON which was the country I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.
Bella had Monday off from school and she and I both got our hair cut, among a whole host of other things including getting her re-signed up for swim lessons. Our puppy had her first grooming yesterday and she sure looks pretty, but not so much like a puppy any more. The puppy and the cat had so much fun the other night when they got to raising a ruckus and knocked my musical snowglobe off the table and broke it-boy did that make a mess!
Bella is still having some school issues; not staying in her seat, talking, touching, passing notes, pushing. I have spoken to the teacher again to see if we can discern a pattern as to when these behaviors are happening and also asked about how she is in art, music, learning arts (library) and PE gym. The teachers in those areas have not said that they have any problems.
Tomorrow we (Bella, Me, Grandma and Carl) are going to see the Lipizzaner Stallions. I am sure Bella will love it. Saturday if the weather is nice Bella and I might go to the apple orchard, after we get our house work done.
Last night we had a window salesman come over to give us an estimate on replacing the windows in our home and the 2 in the workout garage. We decided to go ahead with the project and lets hope they get them in before it gets too cold.
I guess that is about all for now.
On Tuesday I had bible study but Scott taped the Biggest Loser and I watched it when I got home. I was curious about the recipes they made and you can get them on the web site but they do not include the nutritional information. I told Scott that we needed to look at the book "the 21 day Jump Start diet" because we liked some of the recipes in that book. I guess it is ok that the gray team is gone, the NY accent was getting to me. I did not think it was fair that for the gray team and yellow team, who both had a member that could not compete the other member had to keep going could they not have had the gray and yellow go together as a team on the slip'n slide? or made them only go every other time?
I am looking forward to the ER premier tonight and I will be watching Survivor this year, simply because the game in being played out in GABON which was the country I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.
Bella had Monday off from school and she and I both got our hair cut, among a whole host of other things including getting her re-signed up for swim lessons. Our puppy had her first grooming yesterday and she sure looks pretty, but not so much like a puppy any more. The puppy and the cat had so much fun the other night when they got to raising a ruckus and knocked my musical snowglobe off the table and broke it-boy did that make a mess!
Bella is still having some school issues; not staying in her seat, talking, touching, passing notes, pushing. I have spoken to the teacher again to see if we can discern a pattern as to when these behaviors are happening and also asked about how she is in art, music, learning arts (library) and PE gym. The teachers in those areas have not said that they have any problems.
Tomorrow we (Bella, Me, Grandma and Carl) are going to see the Lipizzaner Stallions. I am sure Bella will love it. Saturday if the weather is nice Bella and I might go to the apple orchard, after we get our house work done.
Last night we had a window salesman come over to give us an estimate on replacing the windows in our home and the 2 in the workout garage. We decided to go ahead with the project and lets hope they get them in before it gets too cold.
I guess that is about all for now.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
WEIGHT WATCHERS & THE BIGGEST LOSER
WEIGHT WATCHERS
They offer a weight watchers at work program at the health system where I work. I have been reluctant to join because I have felt in the past that it was a waste of money to pay for something I could do myself. Well it turns out I can't do it myself. Last Monday I signed up. The group meets each Monday at noon in one of the meeting rooms off the cafeteria. I am nervous! I am afraid I can't do it. I am afraid my husband won't help me. I am afraid I will surrender to my chip urge. I am afraid I'll miss out on some fun stuff and the list could go on and on. I need to lose weight there is no doubt about it, I want to be successful. I want to be healthier, I want my cholesterol to go down. I want to find clothes that fit. I want to be attractive and sexy. Oh if only I can find the strength to help myself.
THE BIGGEST LOSER
Since I have Bible study on Tuesday nights and Scott works we taped The Biggest Loser premier and I watched it last night. First off I have always loved these shown and nothing makes me more hopeful than when I see female contestents lose weight off their chests. I really hate being this big chested.
A couple of things bother me about this show. Why cant everyone just weigh in wearing a t-shirt? The men take theirs off and the women have to wear those unattractive bra tops. Secondly I hate it when the show shows you a scene and then goes to commercial and when they come back from commercial they back track and show you the scene over again.
I thought the body progression portions with the MD were interesting. I hate to think about what mine might be like. However I am not sure how accurate those might be. I don't really have a favorite team but I did suspect that the green team would be the first to go because they seemed overy confident. I sure hope that Tom and Tom (LT) play the game well and work to get some weight off & for LT to quit smoking. Do they help contestents with smoking cessation?
They offer a weight watchers at work program at the health system where I work. I have been reluctant to join because I have felt in the past that it was a waste of money to pay for something I could do myself. Well it turns out I can't do it myself. Last Monday I signed up. The group meets each Monday at noon in one of the meeting rooms off the cafeteria. I am nervous! I am afraid I can't do it. I am afraid my husband won't help me. I am afraid I will surrender to my chip urge. I am afraid I'll miss out on some fun stuff and the list could go on and on. I need to lose weight there is no doubt about it, I want to be successful. I want to be healthier, I want my cholesterol to go down. I want to find clothes that fit. I want to be attractive and sexy. Oh if only I can find the strength to help myself.
THE BIGGEST LOSER
Since I have Bible study on Tuesday nights and Scott works we taped The Biggest Loser premier and I watched it last night. First off I have always loved these shown and nothing makes me more hopeful than when I see female contestents lose weight off their chests. I really hate being this big chested.
A couple of things bother me about this show. Why cant everyone just weigh in wearing a t-shirt? The men take theirs off and the women have to wear those unattractive bra tops. Secondly I hate it when the show shows you a scene and then goes to commercial and when they come back from commercial they back track and show you the scene over again.
I thought the body progression portions with the MD were interesting. I hate to think about what mine might be like. However I am not sure how accurate those might be. I don't really have a favorite team but I did suspect that the green team would be the first to go because they seemed overy confident. I sure hope that Tom and Tom (LT) play the game well and work to get some weight off & for LT to quit smoking. Do they help contestents with smoking cessation?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Yesterday
20 years ago yesterday I swore in as a Peace Corps volunteer on the beach at sunset in Libreville, Gabon. I had been preparing for months for this day, first with weeks of fisheries training in Georgetown, SC then some French & Motorcycle training in Bukavu Zaire and then some additional training in Gabon. If you are like most people you hav no idea where Gabon is, It is on the west coast of Aftica, just below the hump and is bisected by the equator. This year the show survivor show will take place in Gabon so I am sure many more people will learn about the place I spent 2 very influencial years of my life. In actuallity I may have prepared for this day most of my life. My mom still likes to tell people that I use to say when I was little that when I got big I was going to go to Africa & I did. I learned a lot those two years doing "the toughest job you'll ever love". I hope my friends and fish farmers back in Lebamba, Gabon learned something from me.
Today-is September 11th. Today there will be may rememberance in the US on the 7th anniversary of the attach of our country and the loss of so many lives. Today my niece Stephanie will celebrate her 15th birthday. Today our friends the DeAtleys will celebrate their 5th Gotcha day. Time passes quickly.
Last night when we got home I opened the front door wide and the door hit Bellas books which then pushed into my Egyptian vase and knocked it to the floor. It did not break. I would have been heart broken if it had.
Scott and I also had an argument last night in which he told me to leave. Part of me really wants to do just that. I told you I was a bad wife and Bella did not have a good day at school again and she was rude and sassy at grandmas last night therefore proving once again that I am a bad mother.
My brother called me this morning about 6:30 to tell me they had taken my mom to the hospital. She has pneumonia and is on bi-pap. She is in the hospital in Dodgeville. I can go up on Saturday but maybe I should go tomorrow.
Finally I went to Bible Study at Heartland on Tuesday. I have never done a bible study before so this was all a new experience for me. I was nervous. I guess it was ok. It seems a little complicated. We are doing the Beth Moore study of Daniel. I have homework to get to and I have a prayer card for one of the ladies in my group. I have not even looked at it. This will be a challenge for me since I do not believe in prayer.
Why do things have to be so hard? and the worse part is I know it could get worse.
Today-is September 11th. Today there will be may rememberance in the US on the 7th anniversary of the attach of our country and the loss of so many lives. Today my niece Stephanie will celebrate her 15th birthday. Today our friends the DeAtleys will celebrate their 5th Gotcha day. Time passes quickly.
Last night when we got home I opened the front door wide and the door hit Bellas books which then pushed into my Egyptian vase and knocked it to the floor. It did not break. I would have been heart broken if it had.
Scott and I also had an argument last night in which he told me to leave. Part of me really wants to do just that. I told you I was a bad wife and Bella did not have a good day at school again and she was rude and sassy at grandmas last night therefore proving once again that I am a bad mother.
My brother called me this morning about 6:30 to tell me they had taken my mom to the hospital. She has pneumonia and is on bi-pap. She is in the hospital in Dodgeville. I can go up on Saturday but maybe I should go tomorrow.
Finally I went to Bible Study at Heartland on Tuesday. I have never done a bible study before so this was all a new experience for me. I was nervous. I guess it was ok. It seems a little complicated. We are doing the Beth Moore study of Daniel. I have homework to get to and I have a prayer card for one of the ladies in my group. I have not even looked at it. This will be a challenge for me since I do not believe in prayer.
Why do things have to be so hard? and the worse part is I know it could get worse.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Doctor Update
Yesterday I had to see my new doctor again for a pap and a follow up on my lab results. He had called me with the lab results a week or so ago. My blood glucose was slightly high at 104 they want it under 100. My iron was good, my thyroid was good. My cholesterol however was not good at 228 I guess it is suppose to be under 150. To deal with my persistent cough my doctor put me on a acid reflux med and on Claratin suspecting that either acid reflux or an allergy were responsible for my coughing. I have felt significantly better since starting these meds-little to no coughing, a lot less sneezing, no heartburn and no stuffyness in the morning and as a bonus with the lack of coughing and sneezing I am no longer experiencing the incontinence problem either. My mamogram came back good. My doctor told me that if I wanted to diet and exercise he would not put me on a cholesterol medicine. I really don't want to take more than the 2 pills I take daily already. My doctor wanted me to lose 3 pound between my last visit and yesterday and I did going from 219 to 216. He was happy with that but I certainly wish it was more. I need to go back and have a re-check of my Cholesterol in December which means between now and then I need to exercise and diet and lose more weight. I know I have to do this. They are having a weight watchers at work open house next Monday. I have so put off joining but maybe that is what I need to do to remain accountable. It is a 17 week program and I can pay for it with a payroll deduction. I am thinking about doing it. Scott is not very optomistic about this but in general he is not very supportive or enthusiastic about my efforts. I had wanted to take a yoga class but since it was on the night Bella has tumbeling. I plan on ordering a video. I have also failed to check into using the exercise equipment here at the hospital which I could maybe do on my lunch.
I have been seeing a therapist for awhile now, trying to get a handle on how I have failed my daughter as a mom and how I can help her. School this year is not really going better than it did last year. She is still in trouble for talking, touching and getting out of her seat and failing to use the scissors properly. I have spoken to her teacher about the fact that she is a post institutional child and some of the behaviors may be related to that. Her teacher tells me she is very bright and has a great vocabulary. I do like her teacher and feel that she is willing to work with us. Lately at home we have had issues as well-especially with defiant and sassy behavior. I did run into a Lifelink family over the weekend at the apple orchard and I was discussing the problems we are having with the mom and her thought was that just because these behaviors are "normal" the path by which Bella got there and the path by which other kids get to this so called "normal" are different and therefore the way to handle this behavior also needs to be different. This makes sense to me. This mom also told me that if the therapist I am seeing doesn't believe that Bella's behaviors are adoption related maybe I need a different therapist. Maybe I do because she does not seem to be helping me with some of the other issues I am having either. Lack of motivation to lose weight when I really need it, little help with my situation of feeling like I have no friends and I am not friend worthy and that someone I thought was my closest friend doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. She does not seem to be helping me with my relationship with my husband-I did not sign on to have to write everything down, or to have the man I love choose to watch TV istead of having sex with me. and I still feel lost spiritually. Sometimes I don't like myself very much. I think I am an awful wife, awful mother, terrible friend, terrible house keeper and not even a good employee sometimes, becaue I am so distracted by everything else going on. This post has obviously gone off track so I am ending it.
I have been seeing a therapist for awhile now, trying to get a handle on how I have failed my daughter as a mom and how I can help her. School this year is not really going better than it did last year. She is still in trouble for talking, touching and getting out of her seat and failing to use the scissors properly. I have spoken to her teacher about the fact that she is a post institutional child and some of the behaviors may be related to that. Her teacher tells me she is very bright and has a great vocabulary. I do like her teacher and feel that she is willing to work with us. Lately at home we have had issues as well-especially with defiant and sassy behavior. I did run into a Lifelink family over the weekend at the apple orchard and I was discussing the problems we are having with the mom and her thought was that just because these behaviors are "normal" the path by which Bella got there and the path by which other kids get to this so called "normal" are different and therefore the way to handle this behavior also needs to be different. This makes sense to me. This mom also told me that if the therapist I am seeing doesn't believe that Bella's behaviors are adoption related maybe I need a different therapist. Maybe I do because she does not seem to be helping me with some of the other issues I am having either. Lack of motivation to lose weight when I really need it, little help with my situation of feeling like I have no friends and I am not friend worthy and that someone I thought was my closest friend doesn't even want to be friends with me anymore. She does not seem to be helping me with my relationship with my husband-I did not sign on to have to write everything down, or to have the man I love choose to watch TV istead of having sex with me. and I still feel lost spiritually. Sometimes I don't like myself very much. I think I am an awful wife, awful mother, terrible friend, terrible house keeper and not even a good employee sometimes, becaue I am so distracted by everything else going on. This post has obviously gone off track so I am ending it.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Yesterday was my 46th birthday. My husband asked me if I was turning 29 again. I am not embarassed to be 46. Is that old? Sometimes I feel that way.
I got up and went to Panera for a bagel and a cup of tea, stopping by McDonalds on the way to get Bella some pancakes. After breakfast we went to see the animals at PetSmart and then to get some paint cards before heading home.
We were just discussing what to do for the day when my sister Sonya called and said they were about 20 min away. They came to town (my sis, and my niece and nephew) and we went to lunch at Firefly which is a restaurant down the street from us. I had heard their commercials on the radio and wanted to try it. We were all disappointed because it took so long to get our food. The food was good but the service wasn't and they were not busy. After that we went to Anderson Gardens. We have obviously been there but my niece and nephew had not. I did have time to share a few photos from our vacation with Sonya as well. After the garden we had ice cream cake and pizza and we had rented a couple of movies-"27 Dresses" and "21" both were good. Scott and Bella gave me cards and CDs-Rascal Flatts, Sugarland & Taylor Swift. They wrapped it in the same tissue and gift bag as Bellas present from Grandma. I am all for re-using things but would have prefered some thought into presentation rather that just using what they could find. It was a good birthday.
The other parts of the long weekend were busy as well. Friday we went shopping and got some new kitchen rugs and some fabric for new curtains. Which means that we did not go to Carl's birthday get-together. I had not wanted to go and we eluded to the fact that we might go to "On the Waterfront". Since Donna and Carl left for their Cruse to Alaska without calling us We are assuming that Donna is mad at us. She probably is, but she should not be. Isn't Carl's birthday for his family to celebrate? Scott was working and believe me he would never go to a function involving my actual family if I could not go so why should I go to stuff on his side of the family without him? plus Carl is not really on his side of the family. I did not go because I did not want to go, I did not want to spend my free time with Carl's kids who I don't like just to make Scott's mom happy. After the Mother's day fiasco, I decided I was not going to these things simply because I felt obligated to go!
Saturday we did not do too much, I did a lot of cleaning and getting rid of all the extra paper we have hanging around. Bella did not feel well in the afternoon, complaining of a hurting tummy and a hurting booty both which got better after a successful trip to the potty. we later went out to get a birthday present and we timed it so that we saw the hot air balloons from "On the waterfront". On Sunday we went to Jennifer and Dans for the cook out and Aidans birthday party. we left early so Scott could get to work. I did more housework and laundry and then Bella and I went to the movie "Kund Fu Panda". That is pretty much the weekend.
I promise that a post about my weight and efforts to loose some is coming soon, although the efforts are not well supported by the fact that they catered in breakfast this morning to celebrate my birthday! I do work with some great people!
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