Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
STATE OF INACTIVITY
I am still is a state of inactivity. I set my alarm, lay out my work out clothes, cue up the vcr at night and then when the alarm goes off. I get up shut it off and either go back to bed or go down stairs and feed the cat, letter her out on the porch and then lay down on the couch. I really feel as if I could just do it one morning I could get some momentum going. I even have a couple of new DVD's to try. It I don't exercise I know I will not lose weight, but I can't seem to motivate myself. It's not just exercise either. I don't want to do anything at home around the house either-like sew those curtains that I have waiting for me. I leave work thinking I could do this and this and this and then I pick up the kid and go home and lose all ability to do really anthing except eat and watch TV. There are times when I think that I just have so much to get done and I am so overwhelmed that I am immobile. I also lack a lot of confidence in myself to accomplish what I need to. I have curtains to make, pictures to hang, software to load plus regular housework. Shopping, planning and a lot of landscaping projects to work on, I am a little frazzled about that too since I am not sure what I am doing or what tools/supplies I need, how long it will take, do I have the skills, fear of starting and not being able to finish. Not wanting the house/yard to be a mess when we have our annual pre-4th of July cookout, stressing about invitations, food and cost of that event. Wanting to finish the scrapbook for Scott for Father's day. and the list goes on and on and on. When I am stressed I eat Potatoe chips!
Bella has been a little pistol behavior wise. This morning she wanted me to come help her in her room to find a long sleeved shirt I dug around in the shirt drawer and found a black long sleeved Tshirt with a heart on the front. She did not want that one. I said "you called me in here to find you a long sleeved shirt, there it is" I left her room to go downstairs she said "don't you dare" I will dare to go downstairs if I want to Sassy pants. She has not been picking stuff up in her room so anything I find on the floor I take, I don't think she has noticed yet. Tommorrow we have a play therapist appointment and then on Friday Bella and I both have dentist appointments. Thursday is typically family night at Ycamp. I don't know if we are going or not.
Out of the blue last Sunday I got a call from LA. She has not called me in over a year. I guess they were driving by and wanted to stop if we were home. We were still at the dance recital. I also thought she was "never coming to my house again" so I don't understand. She really hurt my feelings last year when she said that and I have very little contact with her since then. and it has been what I would call superficial cordial at best. The last time I saw her was at my mom's visitation.
In other news. I spent a couple years in Gabon, Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer and I just found out that the President Omar Bongo died. He had been president for 41 years. It will be interesting to see what happens.
Today the VP of Legal Affairs called us all together to tell us that he was leaving the system to be the General Council at Northwestern. Good for him, sad for us. Andrea, Mariclare and I were all in tears. He is a great attorney and a great boss and all around a nice guy. We will see how our department evolves from here. I also heard that one of the Accounts Payable ladies is leaving as her husband has been transfered to another state for his job.
All this and the day is not yet over, but I could take a naop.
Joan
Bella has been a little pistol behavior wise. This morning she wanted me to come help her in her room to find a long sleeved shirt I dug around in the shirt drawer and found a black long sleeved Tshirt with a heart on the front. She did not want that one. I said "you called me in here to find you a long sleeved shirt, there it is" I left her room to go downstairs she said "don't you dare" I will dare to go downstairs if I want to Sassy pants. She has not been picking stuff up in her room so anything I find on the floor I take, I don't think she has noticed yet. Tommorrow we have a play therapist appointment and then on Friday Bella and I both have dentist appointments. Thursday is typically family night at Ycamp. I don't know if we are going or not.
Out of the blue last Sunday I got a call from LA. She has not called me in over a year. I guess they were driving by and wanted to stop if we were home. We were still at the dance recital. I also thought she was "never coming to my house again" so I don't understand. She really hurt my feelings last year when she said that and I have very little contact with her since then. and it has been what I would call superficial cordial at best. The last time I saw her was at my mom's visitation.
In other news. I spent a couple years in Gabon, Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer and I just found out that the President Omar Bongo died. He had been president for 41 years. It will be interesting to see what happens.
Today the VP of Legal Affairs called us all together to tell us that he was leaving the system to be the General Council at Northwestern. Good for him, sad for us. Andrea, Mariclare and I were all in tears. He is a great attorney and a great boss and all around a nice guy. We will see how our department evolves from here. I also heard that one of the Accounts Payable ladies is leaving as her husband has been transfered to another state for his job.
All this and the day is not yet over, but I could take a naop.
Joan
Monday, June 15, 2009
It's Monday
Once again it is Monday morning. I am at work with a lot of filing ahead of me.
The weekend was good. On Friday after I picked Isabella up from camp, her friend Angela came over and I took them and Lady to McDonalds for Happy Meals and then to the "Castle" park to play. They played a long time and while I was watching them a young mother showed up with her little guy and we were just talking. This young woman told me things about herself that I would never think someone would tell a stranger.
Saturday morning was rainy and Bella had rehersal for her dance recital. We arrived at the auditorium late but she did ok. We then went home and decided to go to the movie. We saw night at the museum. After the movie we did a little shopping and got a new comforter for our bed.
Sunday I went to the store, finished the laundry, ran the dishwasher, made a dessert and put the pot roast in the crock pot. We went to the dance recital and Grandma and Carl met up there. The recital was nice, Bella did great! Even Scott told her that she did well.
After the recital we had dinner together and then Bella went home with Grandma and Carl for the night and then will spend today with her and I will pick her up this evening.
Scott really wanted to go see the new terminator movie so we did. He taped Army wives for me, I will have to watch it tonight.
I did nothing good for my weight loss journey as I had popcorn twice as well as pizza and taco Bell and I did not exercise. I did not get my curtains maid either.
When Bella and I went to the rehersal we left the front door open and when we got home their was a squirrel on our porch. Then this morning when I took Lady out I saw a squirrel in our yard carring a ant stake up the tree. He was up there gnawing away on it. I can't imagine that will be good for a squirrel. I have a weekend of stuff to do coming up so lets hope I find some motivation.
The weekend was good. On Friday after I picked Isabella up from camp, her friend Angela came over and I took them and Lady to McDonalds for Happy Meals and then to the "Castle" park to play. They played a long time and while I was watching them a young mother showed up with her little guy and we were just talking. This young woman told me things about herself that I would never think someone would tell a stranger.
Saturday morning was rainy and Bella had rehersal for her dance recital. We arrived at the auditorium late but she did ok. We then went home and decided to go to the movie. We saw night at the museum. After the movie we did a little shopping and got a new comforter for our bed.
Sunday I went to the store, finished the laundry, ran the dishwasher, made a dessert and put the pot roast in the crock pot. We went to the dance recital and Grandma and Carl met up there. The recital was nice, Bella did great! Even Scott told her that she did well.
After the recital we had dinner together and then Bella went home with Grandma and Carl for the night and then will spend today with her and I will pick her up this evening.
Scott really wanted to go see the new terminator movie so we did. He taped Army wives for me, I will have to watch it tonight.
I did nothing good for my weight loss journey as I had popcorn twice as well as pizza and taco Bell and I did not exercise. I did not get my curtains maid either.
When Bella and I went to the rehersal we left the front door open and when we got home their was a squirrel on our porch. Then this morning when I took Lady out I saw a squirrel in our yard carring a ant stake up the tree. He was up there gnawing away on it. I can't imagine that will be good for a squirrel. I have a weekend of stuff to do coming up so lets hope I find some motivation.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
HAPPENINGS AT HOME
Last night I picked up Isabella from Camp Winnebago. When I got there her swim suit was under the table and she was missing a sock. Once in the car, as she was prone to last year, she sprays on some OFF bug spray-In the car!
At home Scott is complaining that the hardware store has all kinds of belts except for the one for our mower and his friend Brad has not called him back. Nothing I can do about either of them. Also complaining because him mom had called and asked when we were getting our trees trimmed or if we had choose a company based on the quotes that we had (no we haven't-I told Scott to "Just make a decision")
While making some fried potatoes for supper I hear some screamin/crying from the kid from upstairs so I fly up there thinking that she has hurt herself only to find out that the reason she was so upset is that Lady chewed up her flip flop-the dog loves her some shoes, usually mine!
After dinner Scott gave Lady a bath. Our dog is halarious when she gets done with a bath because she repeatedly pushes her nose on the ground in big circles. Bella and I think it is very funny. Scott was chiding us for making fun of the dog. Scott does not know what is funny!
This morning Bella and I are ready to leave for camp/work and we go upstairs to say good-bye to Scott who is still in bed and first he yells at Bella for bouncing into the bed and then for something else. I reminded him that this would be the only time all day he would see her and did he want all his interactions with his daughter to be so grumpy. It makes you want to leave the house without saying good-bye. Maybe we will try that tommorrow.
All this crabbyness is getting me down.
At home Scott is complaining that the hardware store has all kinds of belts except for the one for our mower and his friend Brad has not called him back. Nothing I can do about either of them. Also complaining because him mom had called and asked when we were getting our trees trimmed or if we had choose a company based on the quotes that we had (no we haven't-I told Scott to "Just make a decision")
While making some fried potatoes for supper I hear some screamin/crying from the kid from upstairs so I fly up there thinking that she has hurt herself only to find out that the reason she was so upset is that Lady chewed up her flip flop-the dog loves her some shoes, usually mine!
After dinner Scott gave Lady a bath. Our dog is halarious when she gets done with a bath because she repeatedly pushes her nose on the ground in big circles. Bella and I think it is very funny. Scott was chiding us for making fun of the dog. Scott does not know what is funny!
This morning Bella and I are ready to leave for camp/work and we go upstairs to say good-bye to Scott who is still in bed and first he yells at Bella for bouncing into the bed and then for something else. I reminded him that this would be the only time all day he would see her and did he want all his interactions with his daughter to be so grumpy. It makes you want to leave the house without saying good-bye. Maybe we will try that tommorrow.
All this crabbyness is getting me down.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Nap Time
Here it is mid afternoon and just like yesterday I am ready for a nap. Again I am not sure why I get so tired. Maybe getting up and exercising in the morning would help me have more energy throughout the day. Once I post this I might cut up an apple and take a quick walk outside to see if I can perk myself up. Sometimes I think this afternoon lull is just boredom. Who knows. I really think I am getting enough sleep, I usually eat a healthy breakfast so i start off well. Maybe I need to drink more water. I don't know for sure but hope I can find an answer.
This morning Bella was in tears because she wanted to wear to camp today the same outfit she wore yesterday and I said no.
This morning Bella was in tears because she wanted to wear to camp today the same outfit she wore yesterday and I said no.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Things of Significance
Well it has been weeks since I have written here.
It is almost 2 in the afternoon and I could put my head down on my desk and take a long nap. I find myself feeling really tired a lot lately.
Since our trip to Starved Rock I have:
painted my living room and dining room
went to my nieces wedding
went to the air show
went to the Dane Co. farmers market on the capital square in Madison.
I was very nervous about painting. It is not something I have really done in the past but it turned out ok. I still have to finish the new dining room curtains-using fabric I have had for over a year. I just cannot seem to find the motivation.
My nieces wedding was nice, however there was a incidnet at her reception that left me in tears for hours. I think part of the reason I was so upset is that I said when I left that "you won't be seeing us again" which had me thinking no vacation with my family this summer, no family reunion, I already bought Fathers day cards and wont be able to send them, no cookie day, no shopping trip, no sledding party etc. this had me extremely sad. I guess I have gotten over it, but it definately was not pleasant and evidently I am a B.I.t.c.h!
The air show was good. We all got sunburnt and Bella sat in her nachos.
The farmers market would have been more fun if not for miss crabby pants. She would not listen to me on Saturday morning about her atire and was then cold the whole time. She at almost 7 had to ride in the stroller with the canopy up so communicating with her was impossible. She did seem to enjoy seeing the cows. She would not eat her lunch at Taco Bell and then thankfully fell asleep in the car on the way home.
I don't know why she is so crabby these days but suspect that she is getting it from her father who never seems to be happy about anything, seldom says anything nice or positive and complains about everything!
In the end I am still fat, still ugly, still an awful housekeeper, wife and mother. I have no ambition, no energy and no confidence. How can I get out of this funk?
It is almost 2 in the afternoon and I could put my head down on my desk and take a long nap. I find myself feeling really tired a lot lately.
Since our trip to Starved Rock I have:
painted my living room and dining room
went to my nieces wedding
went to the air show
went to the Dane Co. farmers market on the capital square in Madison.
I was very nervous about painting. It is not something I have really done in the past but it turned out ok. I still have to finish the new dining room curtains-using fabric I have had for over a year. I just cannot seem to find the motivation.
My nieces wedding was nice, however there was a incidnet at her reception that left me in tears for hours. I think part of the reason I was so upset is that I said when I left that "you won't be seeing us again" which had me thinking no vacation with my family this summer, no family reunion, I already bought Fathers day cards and wont be able to send them, no cookie day, no shopping trip, no sledding party etc. this had me extremely sad. I guess I have gotten over it, but it definately was not pleasant and evidently I am a B.I.t.c.h!
The air show was good. We all got sunburnt and Bella sat in her nachos.
The farmers market would have been more fun if not for miss crabby pants. She would not listen to me on Saturday morning about her atire and was then cold the whole time. She at almost 7 had to ride in the stroller with the canopy up so communicating with her was impossible. She did seem to enjoy seeing the cows. She would not eat her lunch at Taco Bell and then thankfully fell asleep in the car on the way home.
I don't know why she is so crabby these days but suspect that she is getting it from her father who never seems to be happy about anything, seldom says anything nice or positive and complains about everything!
In the end I am still fat, still ugly, still an awful housekeeper, wife and mother. I have no ambition, no energy and no confidence. How can I get out of this funk?
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