Power Outage

Last night our power went out just as Isabella was eating her bedtime snack of applesauce. She started crying. I asked her what the problem was and she said she didn't know where I was. I told her I was sitting next to her the same place I was before the power went out. I have noticed recently that she seems to get a little panicked if we go somewhere and I am out of site whether it is at the park or the library or even at home. She has also started asking if I can rock her in the rocky chair. We have not rocked in the rocking chair since before we moved. She wants me to hold her snuggled up in a blanket and then she always wants to talk about "somefing". I told Scott that I think these are signs of a little bit of insecurity as schedules change plus we were pretty stern about talking with her about her behavior issue at school. For now I will just take pleasure in the fact that she needs me at least for a little while.

Lucky for us the candle lighter was on the counter and I knew where some candles were. We looked out the window and the neighborhood was dark so we knew it was not just us. Unfortunately I was talking to Scott when the power went out and since we have Vonage as our phone service it goes out when the electricity goes out.

I put Bella to bed with a candle in her room and she went right to sleep. I imagine she was tired as they had a field trip to the Apple Orchard and then we had swimming lessons and we went to Woodman's shopping. The power was off for about an hour and a half. I got up when the power came on-blew out the candles in Bella's room and in the bathroom and went back to bed.

I actually feel like I am having a power outage these days too. I could not get up this morning to exercise. The alarm went off and I knew that Denise Austin has aerobics on Lifetime every morning and I was going to try that but I could not get up. I finally got us at 6:30 to take a shower and get ready for work. I have been feeling pretty tired lately. I know I probably don't get enough sleep. I usually go to bed around 10:00 and I am up between 5:30 and 6:30. However I know I am one of those people who need about 9 hours to feel good. I have even been sleeping in on the weekends which is not typical for me. I keep seeing those ads in magazines and infomercials about detoxifying your body. These ads claim that the sluggish feeling people (like me) have is from your body being toxic. In some ways what they are saying makes sense but Scott and I were discussing it and he thought maybe they cleansed out some of the good stuff your body needs in the process. I don't know, Anyone else hear about this or tired it?

I imagine other things are or could be causing this lack of energy as well. Not eating properly which means I may not be getting the vitamins and minerals I need and I have a hard time remembering my vitamins. I am also a perpetual worrier. So these problems with Bella at school, financial concerns about paying for the roof and the rest of the new furnace are also weighing me down. I am really bored at work but keep plugging away at the what seems to be the never ending policy project. I am missing friends who I don't see and feeling kind of Isolated. So maybe all of this is contributing to this tiredness I feel. When do you decide however that it is not just normal tiredness and you need to see your doctor?

Anyone else having a power outage?

UPDATE

Hi,

Just an update on a few things:

KINDERGARTEN-Scott sent a note in Bella's back pack the other day asking about Bella's behavior and the teacher sent us back a note stating that the problem had been that Bella was grabbing on to kids and not letting them go-I guess that is "attacking" but she said it is getting better. She also stated that Bella is a very social girl but is learning when she needs to be quiet and when its OK to talk. This all makes it sound to me as if this is all just adjustment to new setting, people and routine. Lets hope so. The other thing that happened at school that night that I forgot to mention is that her teacher stated that she gets Bella and another girl mixed up because they are both blond and petite. I felt like she was labeling my daughter as the little dumb blond girl-lets hope not. They must be studying the letter D and the color green this week and they have a field trip to the apple orchard today. I sent the DCFS sheet that our pediatrician did for school and now the school is telling us they need a full immunization record. Scott is dropping it off at the pediatricians office today-hopefully they will be able to fill it out and get it back to us quickly-we have to have it turned in by the 12Th of October or else Bella won't be able to go to school. I had a dream the other night that we turned in the immunization form but that the school called DCFS about us because our daughter did not have the proper immunization during the first year of her life. We of course do not know what she had the first year of her life and chose at the suggestion of our then pediatrician to re do all her immunizations once we got home from Ukraine, which means her immunization record does not start until she was 15 months old. I hope this is really a dream and not something that could really happen.

ROOF: Well we are getting close to having a new roof on the front of our house. The roofer did encounter some problems once he got all the old shingles (one layer of wood shingles and two layers of asphalt shingle) off in that some of the boards were rotten and needed to be replaced and there was no flashing or water and ice shield and he had to take off the siding on the dormers. So it is costing us a little more and it is taking a little longer. He tried to get siding to match our current siding but couldn't, lucky for us there was a couple of pieces of siding in our garage that he could use. I think he will finish outside today and start the new ceiling in our upstairs bathroom tomorrow.

VCR-yes I have figured out the VCR so that I can now do my exercises and while I have not exercised everyday I am at least doing some on some days. Bella got me up to exercise on the weekend. I even did kickboxing one day. I am still not in control of my eating, but I have done some reading up on various diets.

Weekend-We had a really nice weekend. Friday night we went to the movie "Daddy Day Camp" on Saturday I mopped and vacuumed, did laundry and ran the dishwasher. Bella, Grandma, Carl and I went to the apple orchard for a few hours, Scott stayed home to rest, exercise and then he swept and mopped the sun porch. Saturday evening we were at the Sprays for their daughter Olivia's birthday party. On Sunday we went to the World War II event at the museum and then out to lunch. I came home and rested because I had a headache and Scott and Bella went to the park. Bella and I played games in the evening while Scott watched the Bear's game. Packers are 3-0 got to love that!

Scott and I have a counseling appointment tomorrow evening. We will see how that goes. One of the suggestions from our last meeting was for us to write things down. We did get a notebook and it has helped but has by no means solved the problem. Scott has to remember what he read and he has to write to I can read it.

Hopefully I will have more diet and exercise news next time as I weighed myself this morning at 213 Yikes! and then someone brought in donuts for their birthday!

Kindergarten has gotten ugly

Last Thursday night we had a family event at Isabella's school-Parker Center. Families were invited for hot dogs, chips and juice and given the opportunity to meet the teacher, visit the classroom, the library and the gym. I had already met the teacher Mrs. L twice-once at parent orientation and then again the next day at student orientation, but Scott had not met her. While outside eating Scott kept commenting that we were probably the oldest parents there. I am not sure he is right about this. Yes many of the parents were much younger but I bet that some of them were our age. In fact we sat at a picnic table with a girl from Bella's class and her mom said she had five children and that the oldest was 18 so she was probably at least 40. I remember when I was little people use to always say my mom looked young. Of course when I was 5 my mom was only 27 and Bella is five and I am 45.

We went to Bella's classroom and saw the calendar area and some of the books they have read and the play area. Then as we were saying good-bye to Mrs. L she asked if she could talk to us for a minute. So she kind of pulled us aside (but still in the middle of a classroom that was pretty busy with parents and children) and told us that Bella was "attacking" other kids, hugging them, trying to pick them up touching them, could not keep her hands to herself etc. She also stated that Bella does not stay on task and if she says her name she does not respond and it is as if she did not hear her unless she gets down to her level. We listened to what she had to say but I wasn't feeling too good about it. We then went to the library-the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom Room and then to the Gym. The Gym teacher was not there and we were disappointed in that because we hear a lot about PE Gym and we were curious as to what they are doing during PE. I also forgot to ask the teacher about the curriculum as Bella keeps talking about Spanish and Sign Language. Other than that I know from papers she brings home they have covered the letters, A, B and M and the colors red and Yellow. They are talking about apples and Bees as they have a field trip to the orchard next week. Since starting school Bella has had a fund raiser & a scholastic book order and now they sent a note home with her asking for her immunization record. I had taken it with me on registration day but they did not ask for it and they hadn't mentioned it at orientation. I guess you suppose to know to bring it with you. I had misplaced it but found it the other night in the adoption file. Tomorrow they have the day off. She still seems to like school and riding the bus. Lets hope it keeps up-I on the other hand....

I am not so sure. School started late in our district because the teachers went on strike for more money. I guess I figure if the teachers-Bella's in particular think they are worth more money then I should be getting a darn good teacher! She has been teaching kindergarten for 8 years. I feel that if Bella was such a problem in class then she should have called me or at least sent a note home with me. We have parent teacher conference in a few weeks and I would like to go observe Bella's class and I think Scott should also go one day. I am sure that the fact that we are there may alter Bella's behavior but I think we should still go. I also did not like the tone the teacher used when talking to us. Prior to starting in the public School system Bella was at Pre-school/daycare at the Children's learning Center at the Hospital where I work. There were certainly times when her teachers there had to tell me about behavioral issues but I never felt like they didn't like my child just that they did not like the behavior. With Mrs. L I felt like she did not like my child! Now I know that teachers cannot like all the kids but still this is/was a hard thing for me to shake. We have certainly talked to Bella about her behavior and told her she cannot touch or hug the other kids and she says she is not. The other issue is a little harder. We have also noticed that sometimes when you speak to Bella it is totally as if she did not hear you. We have had her hearing checked so we know she can hear. I have also been told by other moms that their kids do this and I have actually seen other kids act like this. So is this just normal five year old behavior? Do I have something to worry about? Can I change this and If so how? I guess I worry more about this because Bella is adopted I am not sure if this is an attachment issue. I have certainly read that this is one behavior that is indicative of attachment issue. The teacher stated she has a hard time following instructions and staying on task-for example she might start coloring or writing but is then talking to her neighbor. I never heard about any of this in pre-school. One difference I know is that in Pre-school the School part was in the morning and then afternoon was nap and play time. Now she is in afternoon kindergarten could part of it just be getting use to a schedule where school time is the afternoon? Part of me just wants to take her out of school altogether. It is hard for me to let her go. You spend a lot of time telling your child not to go with strangers, not to talk to strangers (we do this a lot with Bella who has no stranger danger at all especially if the stranger has a dog or a baby) and then I send her off on a bus with a stranger to go to a school full of strangers. I know failure to have a healthy fear of strangers is also a sign of attachment issues. I am also afraid that the teacher is so focuses on the behavioral issues that she may fail to see at the great things about my daughter. To say the least I am upset and worried and to say the most I feel like I am failing as a mom to my beautiful Ukrainian princess. I know she is far better off with parents, family and friends than she was in the baby house, but has the 15 months she spent in the orphanage had effects on her that we have not overcome? Has she not really attached to us? Do we just not know what we are doing as parents or have we made some big mistake in discipline?

Honestly I don't know what to do. I will try to observe class next week and let you know.

VCR

I did not exercise today because I cannot get our VCR/DVD machine to switch from DVD mode to VCR mode. Scott says just push the button-well which button it is not like the remote or the machine have just one button that says push here. It was really frustrating.

The new season of the Biggest Loser started last night. Now I have always like this show. I wish it was on a different night however as we have swim lessons on Tuesday and I don't get home until the show is half over. I watched the end last night when we got home because even though Scott stated that he would set it to tape I don't trust that he did. IF he did I will watch it tonight. I have become somewhat skeptical of the whole show after the weigh in last night. One gentleman lost 31 pounds-It is not believable. He wasn't the largest contestant, he was in fact the oldest so what are the chances that this 62 year old really worked harder than younger folks with more to lose, especially when they say your metabolism slows down as you age? I know Bob is probably a good trainer in fact I would probably prefer his to either of the other two, but 31 pounds? He must of had weights in his underwear at the initial weigh in, and/or had drank a lot of water or had an impacted bowl/full stomach something-I just think 31 pounds in that amount of time is impossible.

After swimming Bella and I stopped at McDonald's so she could have an ice cream cone and we ran into a little girl from her class. They seemed happy to see each other and her friend was asking if Bella could come over and play. I told her I would have to discuss it with her mother. I am not sure I am ready for play dates at someone Else's house-especially someone we don't know. This girl evidently has a dog that poops and pees on the floor, a cat and a bunny and a little brother. Plus you don't know how well the kids will be watched or if they are watching inappropriate things on TV or the family uses inappropriate language or if they smoke or have guns in the home. Way too much for me to worry about, so I guess play dates will have to happen at our house.

Well I am off to work on my policy project.

Have a great day!

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love

On September 10, 1988 I was sworn is as a United States Peace Corps Volunteer on the beach on the other side of the Atlantic in Libreville, Gabon. I was sworn in with 6 other volunteers; Cameron, John, Jonathan, Paul, Penny and Elizabeth. Soon after we were all shipped off to our respective posts to begin our tenure as fishery extension agents. John and I were sent south to Lebamba and Mekogeno. After just 6 weeks of French Training they dropped me off at my cement block house with no electricity and no running water. This was the adventure I had dreamed of. I struggled at first one with the language, I carried my French/English dictionary everywhere I went, I became proficient at expressing myself with a limited vocabulary, signs and drawing pictures on the little chalk board I carried in my backpack. Southern Gabon is very diverse as far as local languages go. My village spoke one language the next one out a different and the village after that a different language. I rode a motorcycle to and from the villages where I worked with fish farmers building and/or maintaining ponds. I also worked at the government fish station. I was the only white woman in my village. I almost always had an audience. I got to know the Boussougou family next door really well. I ate most of my evening meals with them. Gabon is a very beautiful country with beautiful people. I learned tons of things about myself and really enjoyed the experience despite having my outhouse floor collapse, hitting someone with my motorcycles and having malaria numerous times. Living in a third world country makes you really appreciate all that we have as Americans. It is nice to think back on my time in Africa and the friends I made and the lessons I learned. I like to look through my photos and remember the rain on the tin roof and the beautiful rainbows, the wonderful smell of the grapefruit trees in bloom and the sweetness of mangoes when in season. I remember all the people who befriended me including the priest at the catholic church who would invite me to Sunday dinner and my fish farmer in Memba who invited me to spend New Years with them. I remember learning not to ask what I was eating until I was done and the advantage of having a dimly lit dinning table with a dog underneath. I remember the excitement of the first time I stocked a new pond and the first time I harvested one as well. My fish farmers who often had very little almost always sent something home with me; eggs, bananas, peanuts etc. I remember always sleeping with my mosquito netting tucked in all around me and a flashlight under my pillow. I remember the boa constrictor that I saw in my out house once and my wonderful cat Bantu. I remember my fellow PC Volunteer Pamela who was a teacher in Ndende and spent the summer break with me while she did some work at the missionary hospital. I remember all the great kids who were part of my scout group. Yes the Peace Corps was the Toughest Job that I ever Loved and I came out the other side of the experience a better person. Thanks for letting me reminisce. I am going to try to get some pictures up once I find a way to scan them.

Happy Monday!

Hi I hope everyone had a good weekend.

I had a pretty good weekend so I am puzzled as to why I don't feel better this morning.

In Friday's mail we received a check from our insurance company to cover the water damage to our house from all the rain we had in August. This was a real relief for us as they had originally told us they would not pay for anything.

On Friday evening we went to Northpointe for a walk and then had ice cream at Culver's.

Saturday I went to an all day scrapbook event from 8:00 to 6:00. It was fun, I got 11 pages done and I even got up to exercise before I left. Scott took Isabella to the movie while I was out. Saturday evening we went out for ice cream at the place up the street. Bella and I also tried to learn some of the dances to High School Musical II, Scott thought we looked ridiculous.

Sunday Scott got up and went golfing. I went back to bed after he left until Bella got up. When she got up I said I needed to get my workout clothes on. She said she needed to get her work out clothes on as well. She put on the velour sweat suit she got for Christmas and she walked right along with me to my walk fitness tape. She is so adorable! She would do the video a little then sit down, then start back in. She had to use the stretchy band so I just walked during that part. Bella notices that the floor in the video was brown square tiles just like our porch floor-she is such a little smarty!

The Packers won-the Bears lost. That alone should have made for a great day. I tried to help Scott wash the pool and get it ready to put away for the winter. This pool has been a thorn in my side. First we had talked about getting Bella a pool for her birthday. But I was thinking of just one of those little blow up ones. Well Scott went and bought her one of those "Easy Set" pools-I'm sure you have seen then around as they are very popular. I guess it was on sale at Big Lots-to me it is just larger than what we need. It cannot be filled and then emptied everyday which is what we need as we have so many trees that the pool just gets full of leaves. Then I asked him if he got chemicals for it because the box said you needed them and it just makes sense that you cannot leave a pool of water just like it is as it would become full of slimy stuff. He seemed mad at me for pointing that out as if I made the requirement. I guess you can get a chlorine generator for these kinds of pools so Scott orders one of those for the pool cost him like 6 times what the pool costs. It comes and then cannot be used on the pool we have because the pump is too small. So he orders a larger pump and a cover. Meanwhile the pool is getting slimy, tons of leaves are falling in it and we get tons of rain. We are going on vacation so we empty the pool and the morning we are to leave for vacation I get up early, wipe the pool down and then put it over chairs on the sun porch to drive. Once back from vacation we took the pool back out to put it back up. Well I don't know how it assembles exactly and Scott doesn't do it himself so the pool lays out there in front of the garage for weeks getting rained on and dirty. Scott then mops down the pool and wants me to come help him fold it up because he does not know how to do it. Well neither do I, but I help him fold it up the best I can and we go to put it up in the storage area in the rafters of the garage, but Scott can't quite reach because the big ladder is still upstairs in the house where he left it weeks ago. So Scott climbs up on the rafters to push the pool up an the rafter breaks. Now he is really mad because it might fall down on his car mind you he is not worried that it might fall down on me but on his car. He moves the car out and then needs a hammer which despite the fact that he has 2 tool boxes and numerous hammers he cannot find, primarily because he never puts anything away after he uses it (see note about ladder above) I actually have put some commonly used tools like the hammer away in a box in the house so I go get it and he hammers a support piece of wood in place. Meanwhile I am getting eaten alive by mosquitoes-they sure are nasty right now! Then while Scott is watching the Bears Lose he wants me to make supper. I made Mediterranean Meatball pita sandwiches (If you like gyros, you would like these) The problem is Scott doesn't like onions and I just don't think they are as good without onions. I guess I am just frustrated by the fact that what he wants always seems to come first and he is not very in tune to what I might want or need.

I think I am one of those people who needs to get out in nature more to feel good, reduce stress etc. and I just don't seem to get that. First there isn't a park or forest preserve really close to the house and like I said the mosquitoes are so bad. I sure miss Gov. Dodge State Park where I use to hike all the time, plus Scott doesn't seem to enjoy this. I need to find a solution to this problem.

Incidentally one of the scrapbook pages I did on Saturday was our trip to the ocean when we were in Florida in November of 2004. Scott's comment on this page was he did not like the fact that I used a photo of him where his gut looked huge. Well if you don't like the way your gut looks in pictures (it hasn't gotten any better in the last few years) than do something about it. I chose not use the picture of me in my bathing suit because my gut looked huge! Bella was sure a cutie!

I got up this AM and did my walk fitness but I weighted myself and I weighed 210 Yikes that is a one pound gain. I guess Ice Cream 2 days in a row might do that to you. Well I am off to work on the policy project from hell. Hope everyone has a great day.

Shopping

Shopping is a love hate thing for me. I like to shop and I do a lot of shopping without buying things. I look a lot at scrapbook supplies, fabric, home decor and cute stuff for Bella. Scott will tell you one of my favorite stores is Michaels or Old Time Pottery, but I also like Tuesday morning, Gordmans, TJ Max, Marshalls, JoAnns Fabrics, Burlington Coat Factory, Bed, Bath and Beyond and Cost Plus, but I hardly ever get to go to these places. It is usually just the grocery store or Wal-Mart and seldom do I go anywhere without my munchkin in tow. A whole day just looking at these stores and maybe going out to lunch, spending time with just me or even a true friend like L. would be terrific. I did get a gift card for Michaels from my husband for my birthday. The kind of shopping I don't like is shopping for clothes for me! It is actually painful. Right before the wedding we went to in August I went out shopping for something to wear because my cute black cocktail dress I bought for my friend Teri's wedding can no longer be zipped up and the red dress I bought for Jennifer's wedding was too tight. I could have probably worn it, some people don't mind wearing something that is so tight that all their bulges, ripples and rolls are visible but I do mind. Bella and I headed out to Kohls to look for a skirt or dress. I tried on a lot of things, I think we made 8 trips to the dressing room. Bella was so good about going back and forth, although she kept asking about going to look at toys. It was not that I could not find something that fit, I could and mind you I was shopping the clearance racks, but I could not find anything that fit and looked good, foolish of me to think I could get both Huh? I found a skirt but then could not find a shirt. Then I found a shirt I liked but couldn't find a skirt. I was frustrating and time consuming. I finally settled on a print skirt in a size 18 that was somewhat loose at the waist but I needed that size to her over my huge butt, large hips and gigantic stomach. I bought a plain black knit shirt to go with it. It fit but it didn't look great because of all the bumps I have. A huge bump, or bumps that are my breasts and then an indentation for my waist and then another roll for the things I identified above. I also found a pair of Capri pants with a matching shirt and then a graphic knit shirt and a denim skort. So I bought 3 outfits total off the clearance racks in a shopping expedition that lasted hours. I paid with the 2 gift cards I had been carrying around in my wallet for months and ended up with 50 cents. I hate shopping for clothes for me! I would have probably given up but I knew I had nothing to wear to the wedding and I certainly could not go naked! Shopping for clothes for me means stripping down to my underwear in front of full length mirrors. Yuk! I do not know how women bigger than I am buy anything and forget getting anything attractive because once you get past size 16 manufacturers some how think that larger women want to wear the ugliest prints/colors on the planet. I know that when you are larger the primary goal is just to cover up but do I have to do it with such ugly stuff. Why can't they use similar designs and colors that they use in smaller garments?

Finally that same night I bought a pair of black panty hose to wear to the wedding as well. I don't feel really comfortable wearing a dress or skirt without hose, I know some people do but I don't. Who invented these torturous things? I got them on my feet with some major contortions as I need to bend over all the fat to get to my feet, they slid over my calfs and past my knees OK but then the problems started. The circumference of my thighs, whatever that might be was apparently larger that the stretch of these panty hose. I tugged and tugged and struggled and struggled, much to the amusement of my husband who did finally help me somehow lurch the top of those things over my fat fanny and up to my waist, however I was still left with a roll of extra panty hose mid thigh that was cutting off my circulation. I got them on and that is all I can say. Queen size my queen sized butt! I definitely did not feel like a queen, I felt more like a sausage. Despite all that we did make it to the wedding and the reception and had a great time. I definitely need to lose some weight if I am going to wear panty hose again. Darn things! Now you all know why I wear slacks to work, How they look and feel will have to be the subject of another post or maybe a post about putting on a bathing suit TEE HEE!

Speaking of shopping we went to Woodman's grocery shopping on Monday and for the first time we let Bella walk with us instead of ride in the cart she did really well. In the soup aisle I had put 4 cans of goldfish noodle soup in the cart and then Bella put in four more. I asked her what she was doing and she said " like this Kind" and she does as it seems to be her bed time snack of choice-an entire can of soup-What a silly girl. I let her have it as there are obviously worse things she could ask for and I don't want to send her to bed hungry. She has always been a soup girl although she seems to now eat the bits of chicken in the soup she use to eat the soup and then at the end spit out an entire mouthful of chicken, how she separated the chicken out and stored it in her mouth I will never know but as she use to say "I don't like Chicken".

For the record I did get up and did the 1 mile/15 min walk this morning and last night I did 25 sit ups-Bella counted for me and then she did 8. I also mopped both the living room and dinning room floors and they look nice so that always makes me feel better. I forgot my vitamin this morning.

The folks who installed our thermostat came yesterday to check out the error message on the thermostat but their manual did not tell them what error 90 meant so they had to call the company and they came back this morning and I think they are going to install a new unit. We will see. Work yesterday was frustrating as I was having system issues and a certain regulatory agency showed up to do an investigation on something that happened last week which made people really cranky. Today I will be loading more documents into our contract data base providing the computer system is working OK.

Thanks to L and T who sent me very nice emails in response to this site. I love you guys and glad you are my friends!

I Did It!

Good Morning!

I Did It! I got up this morning and exercised! I got up at 6:00 and did a walk fitness video. I know it was only a one mile walk and only 15 minutes but it is more than I have done in a long time. It was also harder for me than I though it would be. My plan is to do it again tomorrow. Yeah me! I also did 20 sit ups last night, again I know it is not a lot but I have to start somewhere. Boy do my big boobs get in the way!

I have been trying to eat healthier too, but know I have my work cut out for me in this area as well. I also remembered to take my vitamin this morning. I have the one a day weight smart but I have to be careful of when I take them because sometimes they upset my stomach.

As for overall health, I am still not feeling the greatest. My throat still hurts and has since last Friday. Scott looked at my throat with the flashlight but he said he did not think it looked red or like strep throat. I have not been running a fever but I have a cough and my ear still bothers me now and then and I definitely cannot hear on the right as well as the left.

Scott and I, at the request of the counselor have started writing things down in a notebook. Mostly things the other person needs to do or things about Bella. Like today our thermostat was blinking error and when I checked the manual it said we needed to call the service provider so I asked Scott to do that. Tomorrow Scott is having his brakes checked at a shop over by his moms and him and Bella will visit with her in the morning while the car is being worked on. I wonder how much that will cost and where the money will come from. Our budget right now is very tight as we have to pay off the rest of the furnace/air conditioner, and now after this last rain we need to fix the roof and now car repairs. I am afraid Christmas will be less than stellar this year.

Bella continues to do well in kindergarten and the babysitter says they love having her. The letter of the week this week in B-b and she has difficulty with this often making it a d instead so that ball becomes dall etc. We will need to work on that as well. She is obsessed by this snake color matching game that she got for her birthday from the Andersons. She wants to play it all the time!

I am still on the same miserable policy project that I have been on for months now. I know it will end but not sure when. I am not getting a lot of help in getting the missing policies to upload to the new site.

I guess that is all for today. Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday to me!!

This past Saturday I celebrated my 45th birthday. I weighed myself first thing in the morning. I weighed 209 pounds. I have weighed more and I have definitely weighed less. At this point I would be happy to get below 200 pounds. It is a daunting task. It is not about knowledge. I definitely know how to eat better and I have a slew of exercise videos and we have equipment at our house as well. Time and tiredness are definitely factors. Really the only time I have to exercise is before work or after princess Isabella has gone to bed. I have always been more of a morning person. Bella goes to bed at 8:30 but exercising that late at night is not appealing to me. We do have a bike, a stair stepper and a trampoline so I could maybe try to do those while watching TV. Although I feel I should forgo TV in favor of house work, reading, writing etc. but I don't. Therefore my house is a mess, my weight is over 200 and I don't feel very good about myself. I also just don't feel good. I have had a cough for a long time, currently I have a sore throat and on Saturday my ear started hurting. I am also experiencing a lot of heart burn. I think that I am also emotionally tired as well. So my first post is really about nothing other than I turned 45 and I weight the same as I did last year on my birthday which means I accomplished nothing in the last year. I spoke to my dear friend L on Saturday and she sounds as if she is doing so much better. She is even enjoying a kick boxing class! Go L! Another dear friend P has signed up for LA weight loss so I hope she sees progress there. We have a weight watchers group at my place of employment but I can't see paying that kind of money for something I should be able to do myself. I also attended over eaters anonymous a few times but did not feel that I fit in there and I was not ready or capable of turning the issue over to God. I know I have some real emotional triggers and some foods I definitely turn to-primarily chips. I really want to lose weight to look and feel better. Lets hope I can do it.