STATE OF INACTIVITY

I am still is a state of inactivity. I set my alarm, lay out my work out clothes, cue up the vcr at night and then when the alarm goes off. I get up shut it off and either go back to bed or go down stairs and feed the cat, letter her out on the porch and then lay down on the couch. I really feel as if I could just do it one morning I could get some momentum going. I even have a couple of new DVD's to try. It I don't exercise I know I will not lose weight, but I can't seem to motivate myself. It's not just exercise either. I don't want to do anything at home around the house either-like sew those curtains that I have waiting for me. I leave work thinking I could do this and this and this and then I pick up the kid and go home and lose all ability to do really anthing except eat and watch TV. There are times when I think that I just have so much to get done and I am so overwhelmed that I am immobile. I also lack a lot of confidence in myself to accomplish what I need to. I have curtains to make, pictures to hang, software to load plus regular housework. Shopping, planning and a lot of landscaping projects to work on, I am a little frazzled about that too since I am not sure what I am doing or what tools/supplies I need, how long it will take, do I have the skills, fear of starting and not being able to finish. Not wanting the house/yard to be a mess when we have our annual pre-4th of July cookout, stressing about invitations, food and cost of that event. Wanting to finish the scrapbook for Scott for Father's day. and the list goes on and on and on. When I am stressed I eat Potatoe chips!

Bella has been a little pistol behavior wise. This morning she wanted me to come help her in her room to find a long sleeved shirt I dug around in the shirt drawer and found a black long sleeved Tshirt with a heart on the front. She did not want that one. I said "you called me in here to find you a long sleeved shirt, there it is" I left her room to go downstairs she said "don't you dare" I will dare to go downstairs if I want to Sassy pants. She has not been picking stuff up in her room so anything I find on the floor I take, I don't think she has noticed yet. Tommorrow we have a play therapist appointment and then on Friday Bella and I both have dentist appointments. Thursday is typically family night at Ycamp. I don't know if we are going or not.

Out of the blue last Sunday I got a call from LA. She has not called me in over a year. I guess they were driving by and wanted to stop if we were home. We were still at the dance recital. I also thought she was "never coming to my house again" so I don't understand. She really hurt my feelings last year when she said that and I have very little contact with her since then. and it has been what I would call superficial cordial at best. The last time I saw her was at my mom's visitation.

In other news. I spent a couple years in Gabon, Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer and I just found out that the President Omar Bongo died. He had been president for 41 years. It will be interesting to see what happens.

Today the VP of Legal Affairs called us all together to tell us that he was leaving the system to be the General Council at Northwestern. Good for him, sad for us. Andrea, Mariclare and I were all in tears. He is a great attorney and a great boss and all around a nice guy. We will see how our department evolves from here. I also heard that one of the Accounts Payable ladies is leaving as her husband has been transfered to another state for his job.

All this and the day is not yet over, but I could take a naop.

Joan