TWO THINGS

I have a couple of things I wanted to get out.

One: My girlfriend Julie is missing! Our Christmas card to her this year was returned as undeliverable. I then tried her phone number and it was not in service. She use to work at the Lands' End State Street store so I called there and they said she hasn't worked there for a couple of years. What happened to her? This is really bothering me as I feel it is my fault for not keeping in touch. I met Julie when we both worked in the sample room at Lands' End. We hit it off and would go to movies, out to eat shopping etc. She is a divorced, very opinionated, animal lover. She was never one to call you to do anything but usually game to go if you invited her. I enjoyed her company. I don't really think she thought I should marry Scott and not that she did not like him, but that marriage was not for her and therefore it should not be for me. Then I did something even worse I adopted a child. Julie was never overly fond of Kids. She met Bella once. I feel guilty because I think that I should have made more of an effort to stay in touch. I afterall am the one who left Lands' End and moved to another state. I miss my friends in Wisconsin a lot. I do see Lorretta and Pat but not a lot of the other girls I was friends with. I could have called or written more or even visited. I am at a lost on how to track her down-who knew I knew so little about her. I don't know if Anderson is her married or maiden name. Her mom was in a nursing home in Madison, but since Julie quit her job and moved it has me thinking that her mom died, or maybe they moved somewhere together. She had a brother but I can't remember where he lived. I am just frustrated and sad and sure I will never be in touch again.

Two: Scott's sister-in-law Vikki breast feeds their daughter Gabrielle, (she breast fed all 3 girls) Bella knows this, she is observent so last night Bella had her baby doll tucked up under her shirt, telling me she was "giving my baby milk from my boob". She has it right, some babies nurse some babies are bottle fed. I explained to her that she was right but that it was inappropriate to play that way. Also on this subject Bella and I went to the Starving Artist Show this past weekend to look at paintings. They had one painting that was of a woman with one of her breasts exposed. Bella looked at the painting and turned to me and said "Thats inappropriate, right mom" I thought the guy working the show was going to die laughing.

such is my life I am mourning the loss of my missing friend and trying to navigate the waters of motherhood. No wonder I am so tired.