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I just finished typing a new post and now it has disappeared. suffice it to say I was down 2 pounds this morning and now weigh 218-still disappointed in myself and still stressed about events to come.

Obese Girl

Scale

Yesterday my scale said something that I never thought it would.

220 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!

My injured foot has kept me from exercising and I am feeling sorry for myself for not being able to exercise because of my foot so I have been eating like a crazy person because that will make me feel better-right?

I would like to say that I cannot believe that I weigh 220 pounds but I do believe and it is not overly surprising to me either.

I cannot continue to eat as much JUNK as I have been and expect the scale to go down.

I am pretty stressed with work and dealing with the distribution of my parents estate but really did I need to eat to get through this. Because I have been eating so much fast food my budget and my pants are both about to burst!

220 pounds!!!!!!! Let's hope I can start getting the scale to go in the other direction.

More from the Obese girl later.

Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

This past Saturday our baby girl turned 7-wow 7 already! She wanted to go to the beach for her birthday but with my foot hurting so much I just did not feel I could walk on the sand and carry all the stuff and Scott was acting like he was not going to go with us if we did that. Instead we invited her friend Angela over and we put out the kiddie pool and the slip-n-slide and they had fun with those-it was dreadfully hot and humid.

Bella had slept in which had given me time to run to Walmart to get the rest of her birthday presents; a glitter ball, a craft kit, and a Taylor Swift CD. We had pancakes and sausage and she was thrilled to open her gifts which also included a new backpack and some benderoos.

After playing outside in the water we took Bella and Angela to the movie to see “Ice Age-Dawn of the Dinosaurs. We had popcorn and pop and then grandma and Carl came over in the evening and we had cake and Ice Cream. Donna needed to print something from our computer-her’s was not printing and ours is evidently not printing in black ink but we got it to print in blue. While all that was going on we ordered some Chinese food.

Sunday, Bella’s party was scheduled at Dolphin Swim Club. In the morning Bella and I went to the Dollar store to get a few things and then to Logli for cupcakes. Her party had a slow start with just Bella and Angela but then Jackie and her girls showed up and later (after the swimming) the Anderson’s came by. Bella got some new Barbies and she is thrilled. The girls all got a sand pail/shoven, grass skirt. Lei and flower bra as party favors.

I think she had a great birthday. I will try and load some pictures too.

VACATION

VACATION

I was on vacation all last week. This vacation in our annual Spink, Specht, Bohnert, Meyer vacation. We went to Adams-Friendship and stayed at a large rental house with an indoor pool. We had stayed at this same “Hillside Hideaway” in 2000, but with a slightly different mix of people. In 2000 both my parents were with us and they have now since both passed away. Scott only came for a few days because he had to work and we were not married yet and so obviously we did not have a child (maybe that is not so obvious in our family). Never the less Bella was not there. The kids (Sarah, Patrick, Mark, Alan and Stephanie were 9 years younger) and I believe Shelly’s husband Paul was there as well.

It was a nice vacation, less of a drive them some of our destinations, but I did not return very relaxed. Spending 24/7 with Scott and Bella is not relaxing! Those two fight like siblings as do Bella and Alan.

We did do some fun things: flea market, fireworks, boat parade, tubing on the Wisconsin River (Bella went in a canoe), the Circus Museum, Rode bikes (not me, I will get to that below), the Lost Canyon Tour, out to lunch at the Moose Jaw (Yum!) Storybook Gardens & Zoo and finished it all off with breakfast at Paul Bunyan’s in the Dells.

I did not bike because on the day we went tubing I jumped out of the back of the school bus that they used to transport us up river and hurt my foot. I was ok tubing but had a really hard time putting any weight on my foot-it hurt like the dickens! On Monday he Scott took me to the Doctor so I could have an Xray. Nothing was broken but now a week and a half latter it still hurts and I am hobbling along on crutches at least part of the time. I toured the circus museum in a “adult Stroller” and both my husband and daughter were less than stellar at getting me around primarily they would park me places and leave me. I also missed the bike tour and ended up driving the lunch down the trail instead. Scott and Bella biked 13 miles.

Unfortunately being with my sister Sonya was stressful for me. She is kind of a hoyty toyty gall and thinks she is superior to me. She does have great kids and she did give birth to them, she has a husband who does everything (maybe I am a little jealous here), she is thinner than I am, but not by as much as she thinks.

There was some talk about mom and dad and the estate. In lots of ways I don’t care. Why should I?

I guess we will do our annual Christmas shopping trip and cookie day, but there really is not place to have the sledding party anymore and I don’t know if I am up to a family vacation again next year. We will see.

Later.

TODAY

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Today is a better day. I am busy at work and consentrating better. We will be celebrating this coming Monday with one of my co-workers for her 50th birthday and then next Thursday is the going away party for my boss. I imaginge things will ge even busier for us once the general council is gone and we are on our own, then one of my other co-workers will be going on maternity leave-our department will be down to 3 people as we finish out the year.

Last night I planted my flowers finally and Scott had cleaned out the dog run and power washed the siding. It looks terrific. Today I sent him to Shopko to pick up our computer armoire I kind of wanted to get it last night but that did not happen.

Tonight we are going to family night and Scott's mom is going too! Hopefully this time when she is at our house she will not have anything to criticize but she will probaly find something.

I am still planning on buying paint tomorrow and cleaning and taping so I can get up early and get the sun porch painted on Saturday. Sunday I have a 20% off coupon for Big Lots so I might go get a couple of things there.

Still not word on when our fence is going in. I was hopint to have it up by the time the Houston Meyers visit next week but I don't think that will happen. They should be in Rockford late Sunday we think. Then Bella will play with the kids Monday as that is Grandma day and then We all have plans to be together on Tuesday. We are hoping for nice weather for a lunch picnic at Klehm and then an afternoon Trolly ride ending with a cookout at our house-Thus the rush to paint and Spruce up. Plus I figure if I get everything done now I can really relax the month of August.

Well back to my spreadsheet.

Have a great day!

STILL TIRED

We had a very busy weekend of Cleaning in preparation for our annual cookout that was postponed due to my dad's death. The party was fun and relaxing and a nice opportunity to get caught up with our friends. We did think that everyone would be gone early enought for Scott and I to have a date night but some of our friends ended up staying late and we ordered in pizza.

Yesterday in the mail I received a copy of my dad's will. It had a form that I had to sign and send back and my name was miss-spelled. I got a call from my brother last night telling me that I needed to sign the form and send it back. I guess he thought I couldn't read. one of my co-workers said doesn't he know you review legal documents all the time, but I am not sure he does. The will however did not say that my nephews were to get any hunting riffles. Dave just kept saying I am just doing what dad wanted. I am not disputing the fact that dad may indeed have wanted them to have the guns however, Dave stated that that was in the will and it is not. According to the will if dad wanted something specific to go to anyone one individual he would designate that in a seperate signed document but a seperate document does not exist.

Dave also indicated that he did not want the state to take all of the estate. They might simply because of Medicaid repayment related to mom. I was wondering if there was a lein on the house.

I am still just stressed about the whole situtation. I did not sleep well last night. I am just tired.

I think that Dave will basically do what he wants and It doesn't matter what I think, Dad didn't care what I thought so why would Dave.

When preparing for my mom's funeral last fall I was really struck by how different I saw my mom and how my brothers saw my mom. For one thing my SIL stated that my mom was always very accepting, that she had been a part of our family by marriage for a long time but that my mom had always treated her as part of the family. My mom did not even think of me as part of the family. I think one of the saddest parts about my mom's passing was how crystal clear it became that my mom didn't like me as a person nor did she probably love me. How sad is that? How did that happen. I do think that I am a good person for the most part. How is it that I am so different from the rest of my siblings?

I think some parents want things that are better for their children but some parents, like my parents wanted things for their kids to be like they were for them. I think that is why David has been so acceptable to them. He did what they did got a girl pregnant before they were married, Married her-because it was the "right thing to do", stayed in the area, worked hard, payed the bills but never got ahead. That is not what I wanted for my life. I lived more responsible, I planned more. Maybe I would have been more acceptable if I had married Michael, the thing is Michael did not love me. I think my parents were in a rather love less marriage why would I want that for myself?

One of the things that came out during discussions after my dad's funeral was the fact that when we lived on the farm. I had my own room, at the top of the stairs and the other three girls had to share a room and on the surface that does not seem fair. Wouldn't it be more logical to have two girls in each room? I can tell you why it was the way it was! It is a lot easier to sexually abuse your daughter when she is in a room by herself and at the top of the stairs where you could probably slip in and out without anyone seeing you. People who know this about my past wonder if my mom knew this was happening and you know what?-She did. I think it is part of the reason she did not particularly like me because her husband was choosing me for sex. Just writing and thinking about all this makes my head hurt. If my siblings think that I was the lucky one becauseI had my own room they are wrong, wrong, wrong!

Father Loss

Prince Michael, Paris Michael and Prince Michael,II (blanket) lost their father on 6/25/09 and on 6/28/09 David, Joan, Sonya, Carol, Mark and Shelly lost theirs as well. The death of both men; “the King of Pop” and Rex Spink was sudden and unexpected.

Below is my dad’s obituary.







Spink, Rex A.
April 26, 1936 - June 28, 2009
Dodgeville - Rex A. Spink, age 73, of Dodgeville, died on June 28, 2009 at his home.
He was born April 26, 1936 in rural Dane County, WI to Albert Spink and Helen (Genge) Spink. The family moved to Baraboo, where he spent his youth. Early opportunities brought Rex to Dodgeville. Rex married Myrna Elliot March 4, 1961 in Dubuque, IA. They made there home in Dodgeville and together they raised seven children and celebrated 47 years of marriage. Rex was known as a hard worker and logged many miles while truck driving, most recently for T. Slaney & Sons, from which he retired. In his free time Rex enjoyed hunting, fishing, cheering for the Packers, and telling stories over his “favorite beverage”.
Rex is survived by his children, David (Cheryl) of Blanchardville, Joan (Scott) Meyer of Loves Park, IL, Sonya (Paul) Specht of Glenview, IL, Carol of Athens, AL, Mark of Fitchburg and Michele (Paul) Bohnert of Appleton; ten grandchildren; Michael (Teri) Spink, Heather (Steven) Jorenby, and Nathan Spink; Sarah, Patrick, and Mark Specht; Terrence Spink; Stephanie and Alan Bohnert; seven great grandchildren; a sister, Norma Stein of Belvidere, IL and two brothers, Harold Spink of Baraboo and Bernie Spink of Rio. He was preceded in death by his wife, Myrna, in Oct. 2008, his youngest son, Terry, his parents and his brothers, Homer and Dale.
A Memorial Service will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Friday, July 3, 2009 at the GORGEN-McGINLEY & AYERS FUNERAL HOME in Dodgeville. Rev. Rom A. Pegram will officiate. Inurnment will be held in East Side Cemetery. Friends may call from 9:00 a.m. until time of services on Friday at the funeral home.

It was only a few months ago that my mom passed away. Her obituary is below.





Spink, Myrna E.
March 3, 1940-October 14, 2008

Myrna E. Spink, age 68, of Dodgeville, passed away on Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2008, at Bloomfield Manor in rural Dodgeville. Myrna is survived by her husband, Rex; her children, David (Cheryl) Spink of Blanchardville, Joan (Scott) Meyer, of Loves Park, Ill., Sonya (Paul) Specht of Glenview, Ill., Carol Spink of Athens, Ala., Mark Spink of Fitchburg, and Michele (Paul) Bohnert of Appleton; her grandchildren, Michael (Teri) Spink, Heather Spink (Steven Jorenby), Nathan Spink, Sarah, Patrick and Mark Specht, Terrence Spink, Stephanie and Alan Bohnert and Isabella Meyer; seven great-grandchildren; her three sisters, Ardith Hanold, Marcilee Fry, and Cleone Miller; other relatives and friends. She was preceded in death by her son, Terry; and three brothers, Acie, Kennard, and Maynard Elliott. Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. on Friday, Oct. 17, 2008, at the GORGEN-McGINLEY and AYERS FUNERAL HOME in Dodgeville. The Rev. Rom A. Pegram of Dodgeville United Methodist Church will officiate. Inurnment will be held at a later date in East Side Cemetery. Friends may call from 4 p.m. until 8 p.m. on Thursday and from 10 a.m. until the time of services on Friday at the funeral home.
Gorgen-McGinley and Ayers Funeral Home 400 E. Grace St. Dodgeville www.gorgenfh.com

I am now an orphan! My husband was once an orphan, my daughter was once an orphan. They both got new parents, I will not.

My father was 73, my mother 68 and yet for the most part those years were summarized in a single paragraph with an emphasis on who they were related too. I hope in my life I am more than Scott’s wife and Isabella’s mom.

See the poem below:


The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?