WE ARE FAMILY

Five years ago today a Ukrainian Judge delared Scott and I Bella's parents and we became a family of 3. We actually did not get custody of Bella until the 15th because we had so much running around to do getting all the necessary documents in order including a new birth certificate from her birth city, Billa Tserkva. We were so busy on this day 5 years ago that we did not even make it to the orphanage to see Bella that day. I remember being relieved that the day was over and excitied about bringing Bella home to America and to a waiting family. I am trying to hold onto that feeling today as our morning was less than stellar. Happy Gotcha day, Isabella!

5 Years Ago

Five years ago today Scott and I were driven to the Boyarka baby house in Ukraine to meet for the very first time a 15 month old blue eyed beauty that was destined to be our daughter. We were in the Doctors office when someone brought her in. She was wearing a pair of gold colored courdory overalls and a red shirt. She was tiny and I think a little scared. They handed her to me. Since I was taking notes on her medical history I passed her off to Scott. Later they asked if we had any questioned and I asked if she walked and they told us to put her down and away she went after that piece of ribbon under the doctors desk. Our initial meeting was short. They took her back to her groupa and we were asked "Do you like her?" "Do you want her?" obviously we said yes!

Oh how time flies! It have been a very interesting ride this being a mom. I know that sometimes I fail to be the best mom this little Ukrainian orphan could ever have but I also know that she is without a doubt mine and I am hers and together we forge ahead at being the best mother/daughter duo we can be. I have learned so much from my daughter and I hope she has learned much from me as well.

Can I imagine a life without her? yes! Do I ever want to? NO!

Here's to you my little princess on the anniversary of the day we met.

VOICE YOUR CHOICE!

Today as we all know is election day. I have already been to vote at our local library. I asked my husband when he was going to go vote and he said he did not know if he was going to go vote. I am amazed at the number of people who are willing to give up this right. What other rights do we have as Americans are we so willing to give up? The answer is none. There are people all over the world that are longing for the right to elect the leader of their country. My friend J also told me on Sunday that she did not think she would vote because she did not care who wins. How can you not care who will govern our country for the next 4 years? Last weekend when I was home my SIL stated that "this country is just not ready for a black president" Why not? and if not what will it take for us to be ready? (please note that my SIL lives in a very rural part of WI where there are no black people). Lets say you don't think your presidential vote this year matters (Obama/Biden will win in IL after all) Are there not other issues you should be concerned with? Representatives?, Judges, Coroner and the question on whether we need a constitutional convention in IL or the referendum on carrying a concealed weapon in IL. Finally I would like to remember all the women who worked so hard years ago to give me, a woman the right to vote. When we as women choose not to vote doesn't that insult those who worked so hard to get the right for us?

I have bible study tonight so I will miss alot of the earlier coverage, It should be an interesting night.

As always Proud to be an American!

A MELT DOWN, A MIL IN NEED OF HELP AND HALLOWEEN

This morning my princess had a huge melt down because you were suppose to wear purple and gold to school (school colors) and the only thing she had that was gold was a skirt I packed away last weekend in the summer clothes. I informed her that I did not think that she had anything gold or purple but dumped the summer clothes bag out on her bed and went downstairs. The morning schedule at our house is tight and I still had to do her hair, my hair, my makeup and get her breakfast. She comes downstairs in her underpants with a tan skort. I told her she could wear it if she wanted but it was not gold. She really does not have any gold or purple. She ended up wearing a lavender plaid skirt and a lavender shirt. Today at lunch I find out from my friend T that you can buy a Widson Elementry shirt or sweatshirt in the office. Why did I not know this? I will try to get her one next week.

My MIL was in Texas visiting her son and family when my mom died a couple of weeks ago. Needless to say I did not immediately call and tell her my mom died and she is now mad at me about it. I did not tell her because I sometimes feel that she infringes upon my family and I certainly did not want her to take my grief and somehow make it hers. She keeps going back to how we use to be friends but now we are not and no matter how many times I explain what I think and how I feel on the subject she has to somehow make it about her. When I first got married we did do quite a few things together because I did not know anyone in Rockford and she was kind of on her own too. Now I have made friends, I have a child and we are busy so i do not have as much time to spend with her and she has gotten married and we don't feel as obligated to include Scott's mom in everything we do. She made a decison on how to handle her mom's death and I made a decision on how to handle mine. I did not like her decision she does not like mine so be it.

Well today is Halloween. Scott is off work. Trick or Treat is from 5:00 to 8:00 and we plan on all dressing up. Scott as Zorro, Bella as an angel and me as candy corn. And then after making a quick trip up one side of our street and down the other and then we will be home as that is enough candy for her and I don't need any. Then we will hand out candy. I have 70 suckers so I hope that is enough. Then we will have pizza. My mother inlaw has not seen us if 4 weeks so she wants to come over but it is becoming a production. It is questions like "do you really want me to come?", "can Carl come?" "Joan is mad at me still" etc. It is driving us crazy. We will see how it all works out.

We are heading to WI tomorrow for my mom's inurnment.

SEX

Last week Bella's folder from school had a note in it that the teacher had asked me to speak to her about Bella's test. I stopped in the classroom the other night to ask Mrs. Berg about this. She pulled out Bella's reading paper and on the top of the second page where you are suppose to write your name Bella had written SEX. The teacher asked her if she knew what that meant and she said no and the teacher told her that was not a word she should write on her school paper. I asked Bella why she wrote that and she said she did not know. I explained to her that we should only write what the teacher asks us to write on our reading papers. I asked her where she saw this word and she said on TV.

Now to my knowledge this is not a word we have used in front of Bella, nor have we spelled it, heck there isn't even any of that going on at our house at this time. Do I believe she could have seent he word on TV? Yes, afterall this year had quite a bit of advertising for a movie called "SEX IN THE CITY".

Well last night I took Bella to the Immediate care to make sure she did not have strep throat or an ear infection (which she doesn't) and she was watching the receptionist register us on her computer and lo and behold there was that three letter word SEX right there on her computer screen. I then had to explaine that this was used as a question related to patients where they simply want to know if you are a girl or a boy and that this was acceptable. boy this parenting is sometimes very hard!

I do worry about vocabulary sometimes since Bella is on the playground with kids up to 5th grade and in Y-care with kids up to 5th grade and she has older girls (maybe age 11) in her tumbleing class and older cousins. The chance of her picking up some vocabulary that may be inappropriate for a 6 year old is probably pretty high.

Joan

UPDATE

I felt I needed to put an update on here. Since my last post my mom has passed away. We are past the visitation and funeral and my dad called last night to tell me that the burial is scheduled for November 1st at 9:30 am. I would like to say I don't know what I am feeling but that would not be true as I know all of what I am feeling and it is sad and hurtful and disappointed and alone and mad and a million other emotions all at the same time. I will sort them out and I am working on a tribute post for here about my mom.

I do have to say that my co-workers in the Legal suite I work at have been wonderfully supportive as well as generous and kind. I am thankful to work where I do. some of my friends and even my husband have lacked the compassion I felt should have been extended to me at this time. I am answering lots of questions for my daughter and avoiding dealing with my MIL as I feel she wants to steal my grief and make it her own. This is difficult for me as I know how my MIL reacted when her mother died. My friend Pat really stepped up for me as I stayed at her house a couple of nights and then she came to both my mom's visitation and to the funeral.

Unexpected support also arrived from my bible study group who I have only known for 6 weeks.

I attended my WW meeting on Monday and was down 1.8 pounds which is great considering this was not a great diet time and we went to Famous Dave's for supper on the way home from the funeral.

I am back at work and I have a big project to keep me busy.

Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch to get our pumpkins we were suppose to go with friends but they canceled on us and I have to admit my feelings were hurt. We will probably carve then this coming Monday as that is the last day Scott is off until Halloween.

Bella's first few days back at school were difficult but I am not sure if it was because she is still processing her grandmothers death or if it is because she had been in school only 2 days the previous week. I think she has settled back down.

check back for more soon.

MISSED

I missed my WW meeting yesterday because I was not at work. I was actually in Dodgeville visiting my mom. Last Friday we were told that there would be no more dialysis for my mom because it is not working and her blood pressure drops too much. We are visiting her as much as we can and the nursing home is keeping her comfortable.

I still exercised on Saturday before I went to WI and then this morning and even yesterday I went to the Lands' End Activity center and did a tae chi class for a half hour and then we walked on the track. I was down to 212.5 on our scale this morning.

We will see what the rest of the week brings.

Joan